But fuck. She was close enough I could smell her hair. I could reach out and touch her if I wanted. And then the jab of the knife twisted under my lowest rib and I remembered the betrayal. The fucking dishonesty that was sitting at this table too.
“I can’t.” I shook my head. “I won’t.”
“Just sit there. That’s all you have to do.” Before I knew it she started telling me the truth. The full truth. “When I moved to Nashville I told you I had nothing. Absolutely nothing.”
“Yeah, I remember the story.” I put the coffee to my mouth. The gulp cleared the last bit of haze in my head.
“So I took a job for a dating agency.” She eyed me. “A dating agency. All I did was go on dates. Two hours max with men who needed someone for a business dinner or a social setting. It was never more than that. Never.”
She pressed the last word into the air between us. “I was not a hooker. I was not an escort. I never slept with any of the men. Every date was in a public setting. I used a fake name and wore a wig because if I did make it one day I didn’t want anyone to know I had a job in a business that doesn’t necessarily have the best reputation.”
She lowered her eyes. “I swear that is what happened. That is the complete truth. I was never a prostitute or a call girl. It wasn’t the best decision I’ve made, but it wasn’t the worst either.”
“Then why haven’t you cleared your name? Told everyone the truth?”
“Because that agency is still in Nashville. And there are a lot of girls just like me. Guys too, who need the money. And it’s not a prostitution ring or a whore house, Luke. I’m not going to out them just to save myself. Jake did this because he’s an evil son of a bitch.”
“Jake?”
She nodded. “He was one of the guys I went out with. Many times actually. He always needed a date.”
“So you two were an item? Fucker. I knew it.” The idea of them together lit the rage fire again. I’d hated him from the instant we met at the gala.
“No. He’s gay, Luke. Jake is gay.”
“What the fuck?” I chugged the coffee as if there were shots of bourbon stirred in. I needed a few.
“We used to be friends. Really good friends actually. And then something happened to him. He got caught up in the fame. My fame. And the money and meeting bigger and hotter stars. It changed who he used to be. And when I wanted to change he didn’t want it. I was his golden goose as the good girl. He didn’t want me to evolve and risk what he had built. He threatened me with my secret. He’s held it against me for years.”
“What a dick. I told you he was an asshole.”
“I know you did. You were right, but I was too scared to leave. Too afraid that he would expose me.”
I clenched my fists. I didn’t know what to think. My gut told me to go beat the shit out of that guy for what he had done to Alexa. Part of me was mad she hadn’t told me the truth. And then there was the man who was so fucking far over the cliff in love with her he couldn’t push her away. There wasn’t enough booze in the world to drink her memory away. There weren’t enough days to make me forget.
“So now what? Where is he?”
She shook her head. I saw the shame in her eyes. She didn’t need me to tell her she should have trusted me with her secret. She was already in pain because of it. But I could have helped her. Fuck it. I didn’t know I valued the truth until it was something I didn’t have.
“He said I violated our contract. Had it nulled and then signed with a bigger pop artist. He’s gone.”
I couldn’t help but grin. “Good. You’re better off without that piece of shit in your life.”
“I don’t know how I feel about it yet. It was a big price to pay to be free.”
I looked into her eyes. This girl had been through hell and back. She was alone in this life. No parents. No other family.
“It cost me fans. It cost me friends.” Her lashes glistened with tears. “Did it cost me you?”
I swallowed hard. Fuck.
35
Alexa
“Luke, can you forgive me?” I looked at him desperately. “I’m sorry. So sorry I didn’t tell you. I should have been honest from the beginning. From the minute I told you about my family. That’s when I should have told you.”
His eyes were set in a hard line. I couldn’t read him. I didn’t know if he was still angry, hurt, or just done with me.