Vik rocked me gently, one hand stroking my back, as though I was a child, and the dam broke.
“I love you so much.” My breath shuddered as I struggled to say the words.
“Good,” he sniffed, “because you’re a serious pain in my ass. Kind of makes up for the fact.”
I didn’t want to laugh, but it was funny, so I did, quietly ignoring the way I snorted into his shoulder. But as quickly as the laughter came, it went.
I felt awful. “I’m sorry, Vik. I know you didn’t plan for this—”
But he cut me off with a harsh furrow of his brow. “Are you kidding me? This was always the plan. Sure, it came a little unexpectedly, but,” he emphasized the statement, “this was always the plan.” What he said next had my heart stuttering in my chest. “I hoped we’d be married first, but this is more our style, don’t you think?” His lips tipped up teasingly in the corners. “Wild. Irresponsible. Reckless.”
But I was still stuck on that thing he said.
The question came out cynical. “You want to marry me?”
He looked at me like I’d lost my damn mind. “Eventually, yeah.”
He said it like it was no big deal. As if he hadn’t just rocked my entire world with the admission.
“But…” Every breath burned my lungs. “But…” I was a mess when I swallowed hard and said, “But you’ve never even said you love me.”
Vik frowned. He frowned. “What are you talking about? Of course I have.”
Uh. No.
He hadn’t.
I shook my head. “You haven’t.”
“Really?” he prompted in a bored manner. “Are you sure?”
I could have smacked him. I spoke through gritted teeth, “I’m sure.”
And the jerk I was having a baby with? He said, “Maybe the words just don’t mean that much to me, Nas. I’m an actions man.” Huh? Excuse me? “So maybe you just haven’t been looking hard enough.”
What was he talking about? I was this close to losing my mind.
With a sweetness unmatched, he reached out to push a loose strand of hair behind my ear, focusing on the spot with warm eyes and a soft heart, and then he began to list things. “Waking you with whisper-soft kisses. Bringing you coffee every damn morning, whether you’re speaking to me or not. Making you laugh ’til you snort just so I can watch you smile. Driving forty minutes in the wrong direction to make sure my girl gets the Chinese food she’s been craving, because I keep my woman fed.” The next one had his brows rising. It also had my heart swelling. “Keeping tampons in my glove compartment. Making sure you get home safely, and going home afterward, even when it breaks my fucking heart, because you’re too scared to ask me to stay.” How did he know? “Telling you how beautiful you look and meaning it, because, baby, I’ve never had anyone stun me into silence with an innocent glance.” My heart felt so full it was sure to burst. “Waking in the middle of the night to find you next to me and counting myself lucky that this stunning creature wants a fuck-up like me.”
Oh my.
Vik scoffed lightly. “And you don’t know if I love you? Baby… was there ever any doubt?”
Dear God.
Was there ever any doubt?
My heart caught in my throat when he finally uttered an unquestionable, “I love you more than I’ve ever found a way to put into words.”
Oh.
Oh no.
Oh no.
All this time apart, all this time without him, I would never get back the time lost. And it killed me.
My heart broke. My lips quivered. My face crumbled as I said the remorseful words, “I never should have let you go.”
His arms tightened around me, and when I looked up at him through my teary gaze, he conceded, “And I did what I promised I’d never do. I took you for granted. So, you know. We’re both stupid.”
We were, but it seemed we were smarter than we were yesterday.
I smiled, though it wobbled. And when he brought his face close to mine, I stopped breathing altogether. No other man could make me feel the way he did. No other man even came close.
Vik was the other half of my soul. Only together did we make a whole.
And just as he moved to kiss me, I whispered, “Say it,” and waited.
His blue eyes soft, they smiled as they roamed the tender look on my face. And just as he always had, he said what I needed to hear at the very moment I required it. “I have loved you since before I really knew what love was. Since I was a boy with feelings too big for his body. Life without you is cold and empty and cruel. I can’t live like that, and I don’t think you can either. I want your sweetness. I want your sass. I want your smiling mouth on mine every moment of every day, because a kiss from your lips is a drug, and I’m an addict. You are the addiction I’ll never be cured of. You make me a better man, and if you let me, I’ll make an honest woman of you.” Holy shit. My heartbeat raced, and he leaned in, running the length of his nose against mine tenderly before letting out a hushed, “Let’s make a deal. I’ll trade you. My heart for yours.”