“I would never cheat on her,” I clip. “I would never hurt her like that. And if you’re implying that I somehow owe you for what you did for me, then you should have explained those terms before you assumed I’d agree to them.”
Giselle scoffs, her little mouth falling open as she shakes her head and watches me with narrowing eyes. She closes her lips together, rolls them, and then, like she was under some sort of spell, all the anger disappears. She smiles, genuine and calm, and stands up.
“No worries, it was just a miscommunication.” She throws her towel over her shoulder before grabbing her gym bag from the floor. “I’m going to shower and head out. See you Monday?”
She doesn’t wait for me to answer before she leaves me alone in the sauna, and as soon as she does, I bark out a curse, elbows coming to my knees as I dig the heels of my hands into my eyeballs.
The heat soaks into my skin.
And along with it — the most severe doubt I’ve ever felt in my life.
Every ounce of trust I had for Giselle has been vanquished. What if she didn’t mean what she said about me starting my own business, about me having the chops to have my own company? Was she just spitting that nonsense to try to get close to me?
To try to fuck me?
I grimace, cursing again as I kick back in my seat.
And Erin…
What if she meant what she said to me in the spring, that she didn’t have anything to give me? Did I push her? Did I ask too much?
What if she rushed into this because she felt like she had to?
What if she’s not ready?
I swallow, thinking of how I acted when I saw that text, the jealous rage that consumed me.
What if I’m not ready?
Thought after thought pummels me like fists to a speed bag, and I take every blow harder than the last until I can’t take it any longer. My fists ball, legs quake, lungs seize up as they try to calm me with fresh air.
But it’s no use.
I might be able to work out my physical frustrations, but there’s no escaping this hell that lives inside my head.
I grab my duffle bag and sling it over my shoulder, shoving through the sauna doors and barreling out of the gym.
And I drive straight to the office.
“JESUS SAID SUNDAY IS the day of rest, y’all,” Erin tries, popping a grape into her mouth while we lounge by our plunge pool.
“And we are resting. Until…” Jess looks at her watch. “About two hours from now, in which case we will be transitioning into pre-gaming and then full-on party mode.”
Erin shakes her head. “My liver will never recover from this trip.”
“How often is it that your best friend gets married?” Cassie remarks.
“It better only be once for this bestie,” Ashlei says, holding up her finger. “Because if I lose a man this fine, just hang me up to dry, y’all, I’m done.”
We all laugh and raise our water bottles in a cheers before chugging — which may very well be our most important chug of the day. If we’re going to hit up the pool party again tonight, we’ll need all the hydration we can get.
Electronic dance music softly thumps up to our room from the pool deck below, and we tap our feet along to the beat as we soak in the sun’s rays. Ashlei has taken off her sling to avoid tan lines, and she and Cassie are reminiscing on the night before as Erin flips through a textbook — one we tried to get her to leave behind, but to no avail.
That girl is nothing if not serious about law school.
Jess and I are quiet for a while, just enjoying the breeze and the nice weather and the music, and then I notice her looking at her phone. She sighs, flipping between two photos. I lean in a little closer and chuckle when I see one is of her and Kade, and the other is her and Jarrett.
“Sadist,” I tease.
She groans, closing her screen and throwing her phone onto the table face down. “I know, I know. I can’t stop.”
“I don’t think swiping between pictures is going to make the answer come to you.”
“No, probably not. But they are nice to look at.”
I offer a sympathetic smile. “How are you feeling? After getting away and clearing your head a bit.”
Jess is silent for a long pause. “Sick. Absolutely sick.”
“Because you still don’t know?”
“Because I think I do know, and somehow that makes it even worse.”
I frown. “How so?”
Jess’s maple eyes meet mine. “I have to hurt one of them, Skyler. I’ve already hurt them both.” She shakes her head. “I don’t deserve either of them after the way I’ve played them back and forth under the guise of needing time, needing space, needing… whatever. The truth is I fucked Kade and then fucked his brother two weeks later.” Her eyes water. “I’m the most awful human to ever walk the face of the Earth.”