No.
No no no.
As if I’ve shouted those words out loud, Cindy’s eyes blink open sleepily and she yawns against my bare chest. She snuggles a little closer in a way that has my pulse playing leapfrog, but slowly seems to realize where she is. “Oh!” She struggles to sit up, but I don’t allow it. No, I roll her back underneath me and pin her wrists. I press our foreheads together and feel her. Feel the race of her blood, her inhales and exhales. I savor the life in her, trying to absorb it. God, I’ve been dead for so long. When I’m touching her, I feel revived.
My cock is throbbing ominously in my jeans. Pound pound pound. Stiff and swollen. In need of her pussy. In need of something I wasn’t born to take. The thought of her in pain is enough for me to ignore the incessant hunger plaguing my loins and search for a distraction.
“Cindy,” I say thickly, my mouth roaming through her hair. “Tell me about your gardens. Tell me about what you do in the light.”
I jolt into a groan when she wiggles one of her wrists out of my grip and trails hesitant fingertips down my ribcage, slowly dragging them back upward, her gentleness making me shudder with awe, with gratitude. “Well,” she murmurs. “Earlier this week, before I found out I owned an oil rig, I did a job at the local library. I built some trellises out of old liquor boxes and fastened them to the brick building, around the entrance. Then I brought in some wisteria vines and wound them gently around the spokes, guiding them in the right direction to grow. I planted some crepe myrtle at the base of those trellises and filled in the gaps with riots of black-eyed Susans and periwinkle…”
Her voice is hushed against my skin. Dreamlike. I want to stay here forever, her body trapped under mine, listening to her talk about flowers. The screams that never seem to quiet inside my head are dimmer now, fading with every word out of her mouth. She’s a miracle. And the longer I remain on top of her, the harder is it to deny myself the tight cunt between her thighs. If I feel close to her now, I can only imagine what it would be like to sink inside of her. To be joined with this female.
“I was able to get a good deal on the flowers from my local nursery. I’ve been buying from them forever. But I had to hire a subcontractor to mow the library lawn. My lawnmower is a cranky old man that only works when the weather is right.”
“And this is something you will be able to afford if you sell the rig.”
Her eyes search mine. “Yes,” she whispers, her fingertips running over the scars on my back, making me want to bay like a wounded animal. Not only for her touch, but the fact that I’m standing in the way of something that will make her happy. More successful. “Help me understand why you need to stay here so badly, Butch. I want to help.”
With a vile curse that is not suitable for her ears, I heave myself off of Cindy’s delicious body and sit on the edge of the bed, head in hands, my shaft like a spear down the leg of my jeans. There is silence for a moment, then the mattress shifts and I sense her sitting beside me. She doesn’t speak, just places her hand near mine, our pinkies touching. “No one can help me,” I say firmly.
“Okay. Maybe you can help yourself. Just by talking about your pain out loud.” She stands up, moving to the space in front of me. Scrubbing a palm up and down in the center of my chest. “There’s a lot of pressure here, isn’t there?” she whispers.
My eyes close. “Yes,” I rasp.
But she’s prodding at my demons and they are too ugly for her ears, her eyes. I don’t want them anywhere near this angel. So I evade for her sake. “Most of the pressure is here, little girl,” I grit out, taking firm hold of my erection. “Make me another deal.”
Inwardly, I’m shocked at myself. For asking her to bargain with me again. Is there a secret part of me that actually wants to continue upward, to the outside world? No. No, certainly not. I just want her touch so fucking bad.
“Um…” She wets her lips.
I yank her into the V of my thighs, burying my mouth between the perky mounds of her tits. A roar builds in my chest and I let it out, my oversized body vibrating violently against her smaller one. “Don’t lick that mouth in front of me,” I growl, biting down on front clasp of her bra, straight through her tank top. “It’s like having my balls twisted in a fist.”