“I want to so much,” I repeated. “But like Nina said, we have to keep our ducks in a row. I don’t want to give Patrick and Susan any ammunition to strengthen their case against us. And they don’t know how to pat Benny’s tummy when he has gas at night. And if Annalise wakes up in the morning and we aren’t there…”
Wes sighed heavily. “I get it.”
“I want to.” I pulled on his coat and waited until his eyes met mine. “You know how much I want to, right?”
The corners of his lips tugged up in a smile. “Yeah, tell it to my balls.”
“I’m not sure a one-on-one conversation between me and your balls would be helpful at the moment.”
With a low laugh, he kissed my forehead and said, “Okay, not tonight. But soon.”
“Yes.”
He kissed my lips a final time before stepping back, pulling me with him so he could open the passenger door for me.
How soon was soon? I wondered as he drove us home, his hand on my thigh making me so hot I was squirming in my seat.
Not soon enough.
“So obviously, you and Wes are getting it on.”
My cheeks warmed as I laughed at Nina’s comment. We were sitting at a booth at a suburban deli, chatting over soup and sandwiches.
“We haven’t gotten it all the way on yet,” I confessed.
“Really?” She gave me a skeptical look. “I told Drew on the way home last night that with the way I saw you guys looking at each other, there was a one hundred percent chance of sex.”
“Well, we had to go home to the kids and Ben’s parents, so…no.”
“Yeah, I can see how that would be a buzzkill. But I love that you guys are so into each other. And I know Lauren would, too.”
I looked down, smiling sadly when I looked back up at Nina. “Lauren and Ben tried to fix Wes and I up a long time ago…like seven years ago, I think. It didn’t go well.”
“People change. Drew says he got all the partying out of his system quick when he went pro because it was so much more intense than he realized it would be.”
“But with Wes and I…I don’t know if it’s a good idea to go there. I mean, do I want to go there? Absolutely. But we still don’t know which of us will be raising the kids.”
“Oh, I thought you were going to be raising the kids together. Is that not the case?”
I shook my head. “I don’t see how it can be. My boss said I can work remotely for now, but she’s not happy with how it’s going. I’m the first to admit that I can’t keep up. Even with the new nanny. I used to work ten to twelve hours a day, and I just can’t do that with the kids.”
“You know the situation better than I do,” Nina said, “but it seems like it makes sense for you and Wes to raise the kids together. If you took them back to New York, you’d have to hire full-time help to continue working that much.”
“I know. I worry about all of this stuff all the time. And I feel like Wes and I getting involved romantically will only complicate things more. Especially if it doesn’t work out.”
Nina nodded. “It’s smart to think about that, even though it has to be hard.”
“Annalise and Benny have already lost their parents. Ben and Lauren were their world. And I don’t want them to lose me or Wes because we started sleeping together and things went bad. It’s not right.”
“Life is so messy sometimes, isn’t it?”
“Amen to that.” I finished my sandwich and moved the plate aside, putting my elbows on the table. “On a much easier subject, how do I throw a birthday party for a four-year-old?”
“Depends how elaborate you want it to be.”
“I want to do it like Lauren would have. Or as close as I can get to it.”
“Perfect. I’ve always liked the way she did her kids’ parties. They were fun, but not over the top.”
“I was thinking maybe a Frozen theme? Some ice-skating and a cake decorated with snowflakes in different shades of blue?”
“But doesn’t Annalise love the Avengers now?”
“She does, but I don’t know how to put together an Avengers party. I want to make the cake myself, like Lauren always did, but I’m not a professional cake decorator. Actually, I’m not even close to a professional. I can’t do any elaborate decorations.”
“I can help you. Oh! And we already know the perfect person to dress up as Thor and make an appearance at the party. It’ll be great and he can play with the kids.”
“We do?”
Nina grinned. “Lars.”
“Will he be willing to do that?”
She laughed. “For Ben’s daughter, trust me, we’ll probably have the entire Avengers lineup at the party. The team will always love those kids like their own.”