“Good,” I said, and then my emotions shifted. “Damn it. I hate that I don’t know these things. And I can’t believe I even have to think about them. I have to think about what I can put in my tea before I drink it.”

“Sometimes I have to stop myself from putting bourbon in my tea before I go to a meeting,” she said.

“Not helpful, Holly.”

“Sorry. Back to Noah. He really just left? Without saying anything? And you haven’t heard from him?”

“Not a single word. He left, and that was it. I left just a few minutes after him, and there hasn’t been anything since.”

“What are you going to do?” she asked.

“I’m still trying to figure that out,” I said. “But for right now, I’m just going to hide out at my place.”

“I wish I could be there with you. I’m on my way to Boston for a few days.”

“I know,” I said. “I wish you could be here too. But I know you have things you have to do. I can’t just expect your entire life to stop because of me. “

“I’ll see you when I get home,” she said. “And I’ll call you. Let me know if you need anything.”

“I will,” I said.

We got off the phone, and I retreated back to my room.

23

Noah

I was still staring at the wall when the sound of a car door slamming outside my house made me turn and look toward the garage door. It was still partially open, and from beneath it I could see it was dark outside. That came as a surprise. It was early afternoon when I left the vineyard and came home. That meant I’d been sitting in the chair in the garage for hours. The time had slipped by, drowned out in thoughts I couldn’t even nail down.

When I first sat down, I was thinking about Ally and the suddenness of finding out she was pregnant. Thoughts drifted to Monica and then back. After a while, everything melded together, and I was just sinking deeper into a daze.

I didn’t know what I had been thinking about or what kind of emotions had gotten into my head and left my skin tingling and my heart aching. But whatever it was, it had taken up a chunk of the day. I shook my head to clear out the fog, and the reality of what I had done crashed into my brain.

I was so stupid. So unbelievably stupid.

Regardless of how I found out or who she told first, Ally had told me she was pregnant with my child. Instead of responding in any way, or reacting like a grown man, I ran away like a pathetic little boy. I turned my back on her and hightailed it away from that vineyard when the only thing I should have been doing was talking to her.

The news wasn’t easy to hear. After all, over the last couple of weeks I had just been trying to deal with the feelings I was having for her. I had only just begun working on accepting that I could still have those feelings, and that they were emerging in such an unexpected way. Finding out about her pregnancy definitely tossed a wrench in that. It was no longer just about whether or not I thought I could have feelings for another woman, or whether I even wanted to.

Now it was about the undeniable reality that we had a baby coming. No matter what we felt for each other or what we potentially saw for our future, there was a child involved now. That meant there was no way I was going to let her go through this alone. Even if she wanted nothing to do with me personally and this ended any possibility of us trying to have a real relationship, I couldn’t think about that.

All that mattered was that I wasn’t going to let her raise my baby on her own.

Getting out of the chair and stretching muscles and joints made tense and stiff by the long hours in the same position, I climbed back into my truck. I was still holding my keys, and I cranked the ignition. Smashing the button on my garage door opener, I pulled out and headed back to the vineyard. I made it there in record time, but Ally’s car was gone. It was getting pretty late, so I probably shouldn’t have been surprised. But she and Derek had been spending long hours in the kitchen well after the rest of the crew had headed home. I’d hoped she would still be there. I needed to talk to her.

I realized then I didn’t even have her phone number or know where she lived. There was literally no way for me to get in touch with her other than finding her here at the vineyard or going through Derek.

Tags: Natasha L. Black Romance
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