I figured it would be better to just say it flat out rather than trying to beat around the bush.

At least now it was out in the world. There was no way to shove it back down my throat and pretend I hadn’t said it, much less that it was actually happening.

Derek stared at me. There was some sort of emotion going on in his face, but I couldn’t decipher it. Whatever it was, there was a good dose of anger swirled in with it.

“What did you say to her?” he asked, his voice low and gravelly.

“Nothing,” I finally admitted.

“Obviously, you said something to make her that angry.”

I shook my head. “No. I said nothing. After I asked her if it was true, I left. I just walked away from her.”

Saying it out loud made me even more ashamed of myself. I couldn’t believe I’d done that to her. There was no excuse. Nothing that could explain away my reaction and make it even close to acceptable. The fury and hint of disgust in Derek’s eyes told me I wasn’t the only one.

“How could you do that to her?” he asked.

I shook my head. “I didn’t handle it well. I admit that. It came as a major shock, and I just didn’t know what to think or say. So, I didn’t do either. And I should have.”

“You sure as shit should have. And I’m telling you right now, she better come back. You better not have run her off for good,” he said.

“I’m going to fix this,” I told him. “Whatever I have to do, I’m going to fix it.”

24

Ally

Hope everything is okay with your parents. Noah has a lot of stuff going on here and his crew is making a mess, so don’t worry if you need to take a few more days. We’ll get everything in place when you get back. Call me if you need anything.

I read the text from Derek a few more times. There was something somewhat off about it, but I couldn’t really tell what it was. Or even if it actually was. My brain had been going so haywire, everything was hitting me the wrong way. Just that morning I burst into tears watching a toilet paper commercial and then got irrationally angry at the jingle for a fast-food place.

Hormones were no damn joke.

It was the day after I fled from the vineyard and took up what was turning out to be semi-permanent residence in my bed. The groceries I bought on the way home never even made it onto my kitchen shelves. They came right into the room with me so I could eat my way through the hours.

I appreciated the care and compassion that came through in Derek’s message, but it also struck me as a little strange. As far as I knew, Noah’s crew was just about done with the work to the kitchen. There was still a little bit of finishing to be done on the allergen prep area, but not enough to disturb Derek and me working.

We had barely even stopped when they were yanking out flooring and replacing the main prep tables. Why was he so quick to say it didn’t matter if I was there for the next few days? Was I not living up to what he wanted me to do? Was I not working hard enough?

Or had he figured out something was going on?

I couldn’t let myself dwell too much on any of it. My mind was already stuffed too full of thoughts and questions. There simply wasn’t space for any more of them. I had to just send him a quick thanks back, shove my phone under my pillow, and continue my hibernation.

And that was what I did for the next two days. I didn’t leave my bed except to use the restroom, make tea, and deal with morning sickness. Otherwise, I stayed wrapped up in my blankets, insulated from the rest of the world.

By the morning of the third day, I knew I couldn’t just keep going like that. I couldn’t carry on without someone to talk to. Holly was still in Boston, and her trip had been extended, so she wouldn’t get back for another couple of days. That meant I had to call my mother.

I still hadn’t talked to my parents. Being able to plan the conversation had been taken away from me when it came to Noah. I still wanted to have that chance with my mother and father. It wasn’t going to be as easy as just standing around talking about it on the phone and hoping they stumbled on it. Though the more I tried to come up with a good way to tell them, the more I wished that was a viable option.

It made for some awkward aftermath, but it was sure as hell less stressful than trying to come up with the right words.

Tags: Natasha L. Black Romance
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