Sin wrapped his arms around me, holding me steady as a deluge fell around us. “You could have killed him. Generally, I’d be all for it. Though I think you would have regretted it in this instance.”
Shame rose, drowning out the faces and the pain. Dmitri wasn’t my enemy. What was I doing? “I-I’m sorry, Dmitri.” I tried to get up, but Sin held me fast.
“Is okay, Krasivaya. I fine.” He stood tall and took an unsteady step before regaining his balance.
“Sin, please let me help him.” At my request, he got to his feet and helped me up.
Dmitri took a few more steps, surer this time, and shook his head as if to clear it. “Is okay.”
“Come on. Let’s get out of the rain.” Sin held my elbow with one hand, and I grabbed Dmitri’s with the other.
“I’m sorry.” I blinked against the rain, or maybe it was tears. I didn’t know. Was I even capable of that act anymore? Crying?
“No, no. It was good move.” He patted my hand as we walked to the front porch. “I be fine. I strongest man in Russia.”
Sin snorted, and Dmitri glared at him over my head as we entered the house. After removing our shoes, Dmitri headed down the hall to his quarters while Sin and I climbed the stairs.
“Will he be okay?” I wiped the wetness from my cheeks.
“Sure. He’s strongest man in Russia.” Sin mimicked him perfectly, and I felt even worse.
“I didn’t mean to hurt him, to do that. I was just trying to…” What was I trying to do? Win? Knock him down so I could stop feeling like something was broken inside of me?
“You can’t keep blaming yourself for the Christmas trial.” Sin pushed through the door to my room and pulled his soaked shirt over his head.
“I-I don’t.” I stripped, tossing my clothes into the hamper in the bathroom before turning on the warm water in the shower.
He padded in behind me. The vines seemed more alive on his damp skin, the ink even more indelible.
“Come on.” He pulled me under the water and into his arms.
Warmth enveloped me and I could breathe again, could think again.
“I know you feel guilty. I know.” He smoothed his hands up and down my back as I lay my head against his shoulder. “But you did what you had to. Everything else that happened isn’t on you. It’s on us. The Acquisition.”
“I can’t stop thinking about it. About how they looked at me. Brianne and Gavin, the way they screamed.” My lip trembled, and I hated my weakness, hated that I had the luxury of falling apart when Brianne and Gavin were the ones who’d suffered.
He wrapped his arms around me. “I know. Time is the only way to soften memories like that. Things you’ve seen that you can never un-see. They’ll still be there, but they won’t be able to hurt you anymore.”
I pulled away and took his hand, pulling it to my lips. I kissed the criss-cross of scars on the back of his wrist before putting his palm to my cheek. “You’re strong. Maybe I can be, too.”
He leaned in and kissed me with a gentleness I didn’t know he possessed. He rested his forehead against mine. “You are everything. If I could run with you, I would.” He closed his eyes, as if thinking through the possibility again. When he opened them, they were stark. “We can’t. They’ll find us, hurt us, and kill Teddy for spite.”
I pulled away and held his gaze. “I’m going to end it. All of it. We are. Together.”
The water splashed down my back, warming me even as goose bumps rose along my skin from the nearness of him, the heat that lit his gaze at my words.
“It won’t be easy. You’ll have to kill.” He pulled me to him roughly, his hands going to my ass. “You would have their blood on your hands?”
I bit his chest and ran my nails down his back. “Yes.”
He groaned, as if my assent pleased him more than he could stand. “This is a dark path. One I’m well acquainted with.” He pushed me against the tiles and met my eyes. “Are you sure it’s what you want?”
“I want to burn it all down.” I pulled him down to me and kissed him with every bit of fierceness I had.
Lifting me, he pinned me against the wall and shoved inside me as I cried out from the pain and pleasure.
“We’ll have to destroy every last one of them.” He thrust hard, my back slapping against the frigid tiles. “I will never give you up. Nothing can keep me from you.”
He plunged deeply again, and I clawed at his shoulders. His eyes were two dark gems, sparkling with intensity. “Because you’re mine. You’ve always been mine, long before any of this.” He bit my neck. “And I will always have what’s mine.”