I downed my smoothie and stood, pushing my chair back with a harsh scrape. “I know my limits. Dmitri, you ready?”
He gestured to his half-full plate.
“Fine. I’ll get a head start on stretching. Meet me on the porch when you’re done.” Without giving Lucius another look, I strode through the hall and into the foyer. The chandelier caught the morning sun and sent fractals of light glinting in all directions.
Lucius followed, and it wasn’t long before he grabbed my shoulder. I turned, staring up into his sky blue eyes that never seemed to give me any hint of truth.
“What?”
“Why are you doing this?”
“You know why.” I swiped his arm off my shoulder.
“No. This isn’t for Teddy.” He gripped the collar of my t-shirt and pulled it to the side, getting a look at the bruises along my shoulder from sparring. “You don’t have to run yourself into the ground.”
“Stop.” I shrugged him off.
“No.” He stepped closer and glared down at me. “You’re acting like an idiot.”
“Trying to save your brother’s life is me acting like an idiot?” I tilted my chin up, giving him nothing but disdain.
His jaw tightened, the sinews in his neck thrown in sharp relief. “That’s not what you’re doing.”
I could have fought him. I didn’t. Something about his words disturbed the numbness I’d drawn around myself like a cloak.
He grazed his fingertips up my arm and gripped my chin lightly between his thumb and forefinger. “I know you. I’ve seen you. I…” He paused and leaned closer. “You aren’t mine. It was foolish to think you could ever belong to me. Even so, I don’t want you hurt, self-inflicted or otherwise.” His gaze bored into me, and he let his hand drop to my waist. “Lay off for a day. Please. That’s all I’m asking.”
He was pleading with me as if we were equals, as if he had some say in my life other than the simple illusion of ownership.
I fought the urge to slap him, claw him, make him hurt just so his cries could blot out the turmoil that ruled in my mind. “How many times do you think Gavin or Brianne begged ‘please’ while your friends violated them? Care to hazard a guess?”
He cocked his head. “Is that what this is? Don’t blame yourself for all that, Stella. You didn’t—”
“Shut up!” I exploded, his words like a match to a barrel of gasoline. “You don’t know what we did, what happened. You weren’t there. You didn’t leave Brianne behind. You didn’t send Gavin off alone. You didn’t—” My voice cracked and I quieted.
His expression softened and he put his palm to my cheek. “No. I don’t know. I wasn’t there in the woods. But none of this is your fault.”
“Whose is it, then?” I challenged. “Sin’s? Your mother’s? Whose—”
His phone rang in his pocket. Biting out a curse, he pulled it out and checked the number.
Glad for the reprieve, I sat on the bench by the front door and pulled my shoes on. “I’m training. You can either help or stay out of my way.” I tied my laces, not even looking at Lucius as he answered.
“Yeah. Hang on.” He turned and strode down the hall to Sin’s study. I knew who was on the phone. It was as if I could sense his presence even across the miles separating the two of us.
Dmitri hadn’t emerged from the breakfast room yet. I opened the front door and slammed it shut, though I still stood in the foyer. Then I crept down the hall toward the sound of Lucius’ voice. The runner quieted my steps, and I eased to the closed study door.
“It’s taken care of. I just have to go make a show of negotiating, sign the final contracts, and then I’ll be done… No more than two days.” His voice quieted, as if he were pacing away from me.
I pressed my ear to the door.
“Fine. Well, not fine. I mean she’s training, but she’s not being smart. It’s like she, like she wants it to hurt. I don’t know… Yes. Saturday.” His voice grew nearer and I side stepped, hugging the wall.
“Do you think that’s wise? I fucking don’t.” Lucius voice turned darker. “I’m not telling her shit. You need to sack up. I’ll put her on the phone right now… Coward. You know what this is going to do, right? You know what Stella will… Fine. I know she’s yours. Jesus fucking Christ how many times… Yeah, go fuck yourself, too.” Something crashed, and then the room fell silent.
I slipped back the way I’d come and quietly left the house.
I swam one more lap, pushing myself until the tips of my fingers and toes tingled. Pulling myself up on the edge of the pool, I took in breath after breath. Dmitri lazily swam in circles, floating on his back and keeping an eye on me.