It hadn’t.
Because even in the years after Ronan had left me, deep down I’d believed he’d come back to me someday. He’d see that I could be what he needed.
But any hope I had left was gone. Especially after tonight.
The dinner itself had gone well and while Ronan had seemed tense at first, he’d relaxed enough to participate in the conversation here and there. It was my curiosity at seeing Ronan around people he seemed to knew pretty well that had me agreeing to go when he’d asked earlier in the day. Jonas, Mace and Cole had been welcoming, but it was seeing the three of them together that had me aching for something I couldn’t have. I wouldn’t have thought it possible for three men to be together in a relationship, but after having seen it for myself, I knew it worked for them.
While I guessed that Jonas wasn’t much older than me, he’d taken me under his wing and by the time the evening was over, he’d given me his phone number and had programmed mine into his cell phone with the invitation to call or text if I ever needed anything or just wanted to talk. Then he’d wrapped his arms around me as Ronan had said his goodbyes to Mace. Mace and Cole had then kissed each other goodbye since Cole was coming back to the hotel with us. I’d been in the process of getting a goodbye hug from Mace when I saw Jonas say something quietly to Ronan and then wrap his arms around him. At that point, I’d felt the last little bit of my heart shatter into a million pieces. I’d managed to keep it together as Cole and Jonas kissed goodbye before we made our way down to the car, but I’d made sure to keep Bullet between me and Ronan on the back seat of the limo.
“You okay?” I heard Ronan ask as he closed the door behind us. I didn’t see Cole so I could only assume he’d stayed in the hallway to keep a lookout for anything unusual.
“I’m fine,” I murmured.
“Seth-”
Ronan’s hand closed over my arm as he said my name, but any patience I had left fled.
“Don’t touch me,” I snapped as I yanked my arm away from him.
“Seth, what-”
“I want you to leave, Ronan. Now!”
Ronan was clearly confused, but I didn’t give a shit and I turned my back to him and stormed to my room. I had barely closed the doors behind me before they were flung open again.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” Ronan asked angrily.
“You! You’re what’s wrong with me. Take your shit and get out. I’ll hire a fucking battalion to watch out for me if it means I never have to see you again.”
I could feel my anger giving way to crushing devastation and I wrapped an arm around myself to try to prevent the chill that was taking over my body.
Ronan took a step forward and I shook my head violently. “Get out!”
But my words had no effect on Ronan and he grabbed me by the arms before I could escape him. “Don’t!” I cried, but it came out as a pathetic whimper.
“Seth, please,” Ronan suddenly whispered, his voice sounding low and anguished. He tried to wrap his arms around me but I desperately lashed out at him. “Talk to me,” Ronan pleaded. I knew tears were coursing down my cheeks, but I was too far gone too care.
“He hugged you,” I managed to get out. “You let him hug you.”
“Who? Jonas?” Ronan asked in surprise. “It didn’t mean anything.”
“Yes it did.”
“No, Seth, I swear. He loves Mace and Cole.”
Frustration surged through me and I shoved away from him. “You let him touch you, Ronan. And you damn well know I don’t mean sexually.”
I saw the moment Ronan finally understood what I was saying because he went pale and stepped back.
“One innocent kiss and you leave me for three fucking years,” I yelled. “Then you come back and your only rule is that I can’t touch you! And I followed it because I just wanted to be with you in any way that I could. One hug, Ronan. One fucking hug,” I whispered brokenly. “You couldn’t even give me that.”
Ronan hadn’t moved during my tirade and the blank expression on his face just hurt me more. “Get out,” I said again and to my surprise, Ronan finally did it. I sank down on the bed and Bullet automatically came over and nudged my hands which were shaking violently. I used my sleeves to wipe at the trail of tears on my cheeks and tried to get my breathing under control. But I jerked upright when I heard a muffled shout and then a thud. I waited and heard what sounded like glass breaking. I hurried across the living room towards Ronan’s room as more crashing noises resounded from the room. At the same time, Cole used his keycard to open the door.