I had no fear as Mav walked us both to the bedroom and I barely noticed when he laid me down on the soft comforter because his mouth was consuming mine. I still had my legs wrapped around his waist as he settled his weight on me, but the second I hit the bed, his hands found mine and he linked them together with his and held them above my head. His hips rocked against mine feverishly as he kissed me over and over and I knew it wouldn’t take much to push me over the edge. I had no idea if Mav sensed how close I was or if he was in the same boat, but he suddenly released my hands and lifted off of me enough to limit the contact between our groins.
“No,” I whispered before I could stop myself, the neediness in my voice off the charts. Fuck, I was such a raw mess of need that I was certainly going to scare him off, especially considering this whole thing was just supposed to be about sex. I bit into my lip hard to keep myself from begging him not to leave me.
Mav watched me for so long that I began to truly worry that I’d ruined the whole thing. But instead of stepping back, he reached out and used his thumb to free my lower lip from the death grip my teeth had on it. The rough pad swiped over the tender flesh several times, easing some of the sting. And then he leaned over me, bracing himself on his other arm. Our mouths were mere centimeters apart, but he didn’t kiss me.
“Don’t hide from me,” Mav said softly and then he did kiss me. A quick brush of his mouth over mine. “You don’t see it, do you?” he asked.
“See what?” I somehow managed to get out.
“How fucking beautiful you are…how perfect.”
I felt tears sting my eyes at his words. I didn’t even realize I was shaking my head until he said, “Yes,” and then kissed me again. Longer. Deeper. “Tell me what has you so afraid,” he breathed against my mouth.
Maybe if he hadn’t been brushing his fingers through my hair as he said it or if he hadn’t kept pressing tiny kisses against my lips, I could have held it together. But his words, his touch – they cracked open something deep inside of me and I couldn’t stem the tears that fell. “I’m afraid you’ll leave me,” I whispered as I closed my eyes. “I’m afraid this will all be some cruel dream and I’ll wake up any second alone again…”
Humiliation coursed through me as tears slipped unchecked down my face. But instead of pulling back, Mav used his fingers and his mouth to soak up my hot tears and when I finally settled, I heard him whisper, “I’ve tried.”
“Tried what?” I asked, my voice sounding dry and scratchy.
“Leaving.”
I stiffened at that, but when I instinctively tried to move away from him, he dropped all his weight down on me. One of his hands closed over one of mine and his long fingers began stroking back and forth over my palm as if trying to soothe me.
“Every day for the last three days I packed my shit, checked out of this room and got on my Harley and pointed it in a different direction, not caring where I ended up,” Mav said quietly as he continued to pepper my mouth with small kisses. “And every day I turned around and came back and got this same room and waited and hoped.”
My stomach dropped out as I realized what he was saying. I shook my head in disbelief. “You didn’t call or text…”
Mav kissed me again, deeper this time. He lifted just long enough to whisper, “I leave so I don’t get left,” and then his mouth sealed over mine and I knew he was done talking. His final words hung in my brain as he began to kiss me, desperately, as if the admission had opened some kind of floodgate for him. I met every demanding kiss with equal fervor and when he pulled me upright so I could sit astride him as he sat back on his heels, I wrapped both my arms and legs around him so there was practically no space between us. Mav reached behind his neck with one arm and managed to pull his T-shirt off in one clean sweep. He tossed the garment aside and ran his hand through his hair to push it back, giving me an unfettered view of his broad chest. I sucked in a breath at the sight of the large tattoo that spanned the upper half of his body.
A phoenix.
“Oh my God,” I breathed as I let my fingers trail over the bird’s broad wings and long body. While the color was mostly black with hints of red in the wings and long tail, the detail work was very intricate and beautifully done and it felt like at any moment the beautiful creature would continue its ascent from the fiery ashes from which it had been born.