“You’re giving him a false sense of security,” Nathan murmured with a nod of his head. “So you draw him out, and then what?”
“How about we make that subject one of the ones I get to veto,” I offered.
He tensed, but didn’t push the issue. Undoubtedly because I’d answered his question by not answering it.
“Why not just let me draw him out?”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Actually stick me in a motel room somewhere. Let him think I’m alone.”
I began shaking my head before he even finished. “No.”
“No? That’s it? What happened to equal participant?”
“Putting yourself in a dangerous situation isn’t equal participation,” I snapped. “It’s stupidity.”
He shook his head and drummed his fingers on the island. “Not going to work,” he muttered to himself.
I knew I was overreacting, but the idea of him back in that fucker’s direct line of sight had me on edge. Especially since I didn’t know who I was dealing with. “Look, let me see what I can figure out and we’ll go from there,” I conceded. “If I think that I can’t draw the guy out on my own, I’ll…I’ll think about it, okay?” Even the words sounded wrong, but deep down, I knew Nathan was right. I needed the threat to him to be gone, and I needed it to happen soon.
And not just because I wanted to fulfill my commitment to Dom and his nephew.
Nathan nodded. “Can I take a look at my email now?”
I nodded and led him to my office to get him set up with a computer.
“Here,” Nathan said as he set the laptop down on the kitchen island. I was in the midst of preparing dinner, so I put down the knife I’d been using to chop vegetables and pulled the laptop around so I could see it. Nathan came around the island and pointed at the screen. “These are the emails I worked on,” he said as he put his finger on the tracking pad and moved the mouse to open the draft folder. “You can check the sent folder to see that I didn’t send anything without letting you look at it first.”
“Not necessary,” I said. I only glanced at the emails in the draft folder before hitting the send button. It was a monumental effort on my part not to actually read them, but I’d had a lot of time to think about what Nathan had said. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust him…I didn’t know how to trust, period. Even with Everett, it had taken me years to get to the point where I’d let him into my life. But there were things I still kept from him, and not just to protect him.
I felt Nathan’s eyes on me as I turned the laptop back towards him and resumed cutting up the vegetables.
“I also worked on a speech I have to give later this month...did you want to see it?”
I shook my head. “Only if you need a second opinion on it.” I lifted my gaze and said, “And since we both know I’m pretty much the worst one to ask for a second opinion on a political speech….”
Nathan smiled and I inwardly cursed the dreaded butterflies in my belly. Hadn’t felt those damn things since I’d been with David.
“It’s not a political speech,” he said as he closed the computer.
When he didn’t say anything else I said, “What kind of speech is it?”
“Nothing,” he responded, shaking his head.
“Tell me,” I urged.
His pretty eyes settled on mine and I could see the uncertainty in them. God, I really was an asshole if he was this afraid to tell me something that clearly seemed to be both personal and important to him.
“Tell me,” I repeated, softening my voice and stopping what I was doing.
“It’s this career day thing for a youth center in Charleston. It specializes in helping homeless kids get off the street. I’ve been volunteering there for a while and the director asked me to give a speech about government service.”
“You volunteer there?” I asked softly. “I didn’t see anything about that-” I stopped abruptly when I realized what I’d been about to say. I hadn’t seen evidence of that when I’d been digging into his personal life.
“I don’t want people to know because then the center becomes the focus of reporters. And my opponent will say I’m there just to boost my image.”
I wasn’t someone who surprised easily, but he’d managed it. “What kind of volunteering do you do?”
Nathan shrugged. “Whatever they need. Legal stuff mostly. Sometimes just sitting and listening to the kids.”
I knew Nathan was a lawyer, but I’d assumed he’d gotten the degree just so he could use it to get into office. I’d assumed a lot of things.
“What are you making?”
His question pulled me from my thoughts, especially the questions of self-doubt that had begun to pop into my head. What else had I gotten wrong about him? I’d only viewed him through the lens of financial accounts, emails, news articles and interviews…how much had I missed about the real Nathan Wilder?