Shattered (The Protectors 11)

Jace had removed all the knives and forks from the kitchen and replaced them with plastic utensils.

It had been like a slap to the face, and I’d ended up going into the bathroom and crying into a towel so Jace wouldn’t hear me above deck. Then I’d dug my fingers into my arm until there’d been several small bruises on my skin. It hadn’t been enough damage for the bruises to last long or be noticeable, but my heart felt like it had been torn from my body.

I hadn’t confronted Jace about the silverware.

I’d kept hoping something would change over the past week, but nothing did. To make matters worse, Jace was spending every evening above deck while I read or watched TV in the bedroom. On a few occasions, I’d heard him talking to someone on the phone. Since he’d told me himself that the only person he was in communication with was Dalton, I’d known it was the handsome former soldier he’d been choosing to spend his time with instead of me.

My anxiety continued to build as we walked. Another five minutes passed before we reached our destination.

It was a small movie theater and Lord of the Rings was spelled out in red plastic letters on the marquee. I’d known we were going to the movies, but he hadn’t said which one.

“It’s a marathon,” Jace said. “I saw a sign in one of the stores that they were playing it all this week.”

I stared at the letters for a long time until they started to merge together and I realized it was because I was crying.

He’d remembered that I’d said it was my favorite movie.

“Caleb?” Jace asked in concern when I stopped following him. “Are you okay?”

I let out a watery laugh, then shook my head. “God, Jace, you’re such a fucking asshole,” I whispered, then I turned on my heel. I wiped at my face as I began walking.

“Wait, what’s wrong?” Jace asked as he caught up to me and grabbed my arm.

“Lord of the Rings?” I asked. “You gonna fuck me again now too, Jace?” I bit out.

“What—”

“Is this how it’s going to be?” I practically spat as I began walking again. “You treat me like shit, then you do something nice and I’m supposed to forget that you can’t even bring yourself to look at me? Maybe I blow you or let you fuck me and then it starts all over again?”

“Caleb—”

“Fuck you, Jace,” I muttered, my voice breaking. “I get it. You don’t do relationships, you don’t fuck the same guy twice, you get off and you go. Shame on me to think I was the exception to the rule.”

I quickened my pace. I knew Jace was still behind me, but he didn’t say anything. It took only a few minutes to get back to the marina. Once on board the boat, I went to the bedroom and searched out the second burner phone Dalton had bought for Jace. We hadn’t made use of it, but Jace had explained it was activated and that I should use it to call him or Dalton if there was any kind of emergency while Jace was on shore. Since I didn’t have anything else that was truly mine on the boat, I turned to leave.

Not surprisingly, Jace was standing in the doorway.

Blocking it.

“You’re not leaving,” he said quietly.

Too quietly.

If he’d been any other man, I would have been scared. But he wasn’t any man.

“What are you going to do to stop me, Jace?” I asked as I came to a halt not more than a foot from him. “You may not give a shit about hurting me here,” – I pointed at my chest – “but we both know you won’t lay a hand on me in anger.”

His jaw ticked, but as expected, he didn’t make a move toward me. But when I went to push past him, he grabbed my arm and propelled me back into the room. He slammed the door shut behind him.

“I never lied to you—”

“Yes, you did!” I snapped. “Every time you kissed me! Every time you shared some part of yourself with me, every time you—” – I hated that my voice cracked – “—every time you looked at me like I was the only person who existed for you!” I wiped at a stray tear that slipped unbidden from my eyes. “But you warned me, didn’t you?” I whispered, my anger deflating as pain began to spiral throughout my chest. “You told me not to give you everything. So shame on me for that too,” I murmured.

“It isn’t like that, Caleb,” Jace said in frustration as he thrust his hand into his hair. “I just… I just…”

When he didn’t say anything, I pushed past him, saying, “Go tell it to Dalton” as I did so.