I’d gotten a bit of a reprieve the past few days as Sage and Cash had gone out of town on their first assignment. I’d been a little nervous at the prospect of being left alone, but I’d also insisted upon it because I’d wanted some time to think.
Although Dylan was still missing and I was coming to fear the worst had happened to him, being home alone didn’t bother me because I knew I wasn’t in any danger. Even if the men who’d hurt Dylan had a reason to come after me, which they didn’t, they had no way of knowing where I was.
I’d spent the last couple of days waffling back and forth on what I needed to do, but I’d finally reached a decision and I was nervous about having to tell Sage and Cash about it. I was expecting them home within the hour and had started making dinner to keep myself busy, even though Cash had suggested just ordering a pizza. My stomach twisted painfully when I heard the sound of tires crunching over gravel outside.
What I wouldn’t give for this to be my new normal.
Waiting with bated breath for my men to get home from a job.
I kept myself busy as Cash and Sage entered the house so I wouldn’t be tempted to run to greet them.
“Honey, we’re home,” Sage called. I felt tears prick my eyes because I could hear the smile in his voice. It was something I feared would never happen after he’d told us about all the terrible things that had happened to him as a kid. God, he really was an incredible man. And Cash… I’d never met someone so strong and yet so giving. How had I ever considered him closed off and unreachable?
“Hey,” I called, trying to keep my voice neutral.
I heard footsteps behind me and then two separate pairs of hands closed around my waist as each man greeted me with a kiss to the cheek.
“You okay?” Cash asked after a moment and I knew why.
Because I was keeping my back to them. I’d only let them kiss my cheek and I hadn’t turned to hug them like I normally did. How was I supposed to explain that was part of the problem? That I’d started to become too reliant on those things. That I’d started to look forward to them too much.
“I’m good,” I said. “Why don’t you two get cleaned up? Food will be ready in a few minutes.”
I expected them to agree and leave the kitchen, but there was only silence instead of the sound of retreating footsteps. I was standing in front of the stove stirring the spaghetti sauce as I waited for the noodles to finish cooking. A big hand reached past my hip to turn off both burners and then the spoon was plucked from my fingers and left in the pot of sauce.
I knew whose hand it was.
Cash’s were slightly larger than Sage’s and Sage’s had the tiniest smattering of freckles on the backs of them.
Cash’s arm eased around my waist and I felt his mouth drop next to my ear as he asked, “What’s wrong?”
I forced myself to hold my frame straight instead of sinking back against him.
“I talked to Ronan today,” I said.
“About what?” Sage asked, his voice wary.
Before I could even respond, Cash was turning me around. “Why?” he asked, his expression tight with a mix of anger and hurt.
I pushed past him because I couldn’t do this while he was touching me. Sage was standing by the entryway to the kitchen, so I was technically blocked in. I backed up until I had the table behind me to support me in case my knees gave out.
“I can’t do it anymore,” I admitted. “I thought I could. I really did. But it’s too hard,” I said. “It’s better this way.”
“Do what?” Sage asked with a frown.
I didn’t want to look at him… I couldn’t. So I dropped my eyes and admitted to my secret shame. “Pretend.”
Chapter 12
Cash
“Pretend what?” I asked, barely managing to hang onto my temper.
She wanted to leave.
What the ever-loving fuck?
Why now? After all this time? Sage and I were finally making progress with her and she wanted to walk away?
“That it’s enough,” she whispered, her eyes still downcast.
I moved until I was standing in front of her, then tipped her head up. Some of my anger died when I saw the pain in her eyes.
Yes, she was really doing this, but it wasn’t easy for her.
I could work with that.
“What?” I asked. “What’s not enough? This?” I leaned down and kissed her gently at first, then deepened the kiss. As expected, she went pliant beneath me and kissed me back. But I didn’t take advantage of the situation. We needed to hash this shit out so she’d finally see that she was right where she belonged.