Choosing Fate (Love in Eden 1.70)

Nothing.

"No, no, no," I whispered. I didn't dare look up to see if Zander was watching. I just turned the key harder as if that would somehow magically make a difference in giving me the clean getaway I needed.

I silently begged and pleaded with my car as I turned the key over and over again, but the outcome was the same. When there was a tapping sound on my window a minute later, all I could do was sit and stare out the windshield in front of me. Why hadn't I played it safe and just stayed home?

"Joli, honey," Zander said. I’d left the windows cracked, so I could hear how gentle his voice was. That just made things worse and all I could do was sit there and shake my head.

The car door opened. Despite my refusal to look at him, I sensed when he crouched down next to me. But he didn't say anything. Instead, he reached into the car and pulled the lever that controlled the hood. I knew that I needed to get it together, at least enough that I could get through these next few minutes with feigned politeness, but when Zander returned and knelt down next to me again, I couldn't manage to even look at him. He ended up leaning across me so he could start the car himself. He only did it for a moment, then turned the car off.

"It looks like you've got a bad starter. I can fix it, but this is a pretty old car and I doubt Pete has the part in stock. Even if he does, it will take me a little while. Why don't you let me take you home?"

I must've nodded or something, because he rose and stepped back, but also put his hand out so it was in my line of sight. The last thing I wanted to do was touch him, but I knew I’d look like even more of a crazy woman if I didn't. So I took his hand only long enough for him to help me out of the car and then I tugged it free. I was glad when he didn't talk to me on the ride to my house. It was eerily similar to the night before, but this time there was no banter or small talk. And instead of wishing the ride would never end, all I wanted was out of the car.

Zander didn't need directions to my house. The sun had already started to set, so the house was dark by the time we pulled up to the curb. I reached for the door handle, this time ignoring Zander's request for me to wait. He’d been sweet the night before with wanting to give me that end-of-the-date walk up to the door. But we weren't on a date and every second I spent in his company left me feeling more and more like a failure.

"Joli, wait," Zander called as I got out of the car and began hurrying up the walkway that led to the front door. I heard footsteps behind me, so I quickened my pace. But it was the lock on the front door that ended up being my doom because by the time I dug the key out of my purse, Zander had caught up to me.

"Joli—"

"Jolene," I muttered.

There was silence behind me, but I didn't turn around to see Zander's reaction. I knew I was a walking, talking contradiction, but I didn't care. I felt raw and exposed and all I wanted to do was find a quiet place where I could lick my wounds.

Despite my shaking fingers, I managed to get the door unlocked and was in the process of opening it when Zander asked, "It looks like your babysitter hasn't turned any lights on yet. Do you want me to come in and look around?"

His kind offer in the face of my dismissive attitude just made me feel lower. "My son is with his father for a few days. Thank you, it's fine. I'm fine."

Zander’s fingers closed over mine where they were resting on the doorknob. I felt his big body pressed against my back and I closed my eyes as his heat transferred to me. I began to feel that painfully sweet warmth shimmer along my nerve endings. All I had to do to escape him was open the door and step forward into the house, but I couldn't move.

"If you’re fine, then why are you so intent on getting away from me?" Zander asked. Then he huskily added, "Joli."

"I'm not," I insisted. "I just have a lot of things to do around the house."

"You're upset."

"No, I'm—"

"Practically in tears," Zander growled as he suddenly turned me around. His touch was firm but gentle as he held me in place. "Tell me what I did. Tell me what I did that hurt you." His hand came up to cup my cheek and his thumb brushed gently over the bruise there.