"I know. " She leaned toward him. "You know what, Con? My heart is big enough to lose a piece now and then. "
Slowly, he smiled. "Im glad to hear that. " He was about to say something else but the ping-ping-ping of a fork hitting glass stopped him.
Angie looked up.
Livvy and Sal stood up. Sal was tapping his fork against his wineglass. When silence fell around the table, he put an arm around Livvy. "We wanted to let you all know that there will be a new baby in the family for next Christmas. "
No one said a word.
Livvys eyes filled slowly with tears as she looked at Angie.
She waited for the pain to hit, stiffened in preparation. Conlan squeezed her thigh. Steady now, that touch said.
But she was steady. The realization made Angie smile. She got to her feet and came around the table, hugging her sister tightly. "Im happy for you. "
Livvy drew back. "You mean it? I was so scared to tell you. "
Angie smiled. The pain was there, of course it was, lodged in her heart like a piece of glass. And the envy. But it didnt hurt as much as before. Or maybe shed finally learned to handle the pain. All she really knew was that she felt no urge to run to a quiet room and cry and her smile didnt have to be forced. "I mean it. "
At that, conversations burst to life again.
Angie returned to her seat just as Mama began the prayer. When it was over and theyd listed and prayed for all their loved ones whod been lost, including Papa and Sophia, Conlan leaned close to her.
"Are you really okay?"
"Its a shock, isnt it?"
He stared at her a long time, then very softly he said, "I love you, Angela Malone. "
"WHAT TIME IS IT?" LAUREN ASKED, LOOKING UP FROM her magazine.
"Ten minutes later than the last time you asked," Angie answered. "Hell be here. Dont worry. "
Lauren tossed down the magazine. There was no point in pretending to read it anyway. She walked over to the living room window and stared out. Night was slowly falling toward the ocean. The surf was barely visible now, just a thread of silver along the charcoal shoreline. January had come to West End on an easterly wind, its cold breath bending the trees backward.
Angie came up beside her, put an arm around her waist. Lauren leaned sideways. As always, Angie was able to calm her so easily, with just a--
mothers
--touch.
"Thanks," Lauren said, hearing the tremor in her voice. Sometimes it hit her in a breathless rush, the longing that Angie were her mother. It had always made her feel slightly guilty, that longing, but she couldnt deny its existence. These days, when she thought about her mother (usually late at night, in the darkness, when the distant surf was leading her toward the kind of deep peaceful sleep shed never known before), she mostly felt disappointed. The sharp edge of betrayal had dimmed somehow. She felt sorry for her mother mostly, and for herself, too. Shed glimpsed what her life could have been. If shed been raised by Angie, Lauren would have known love from her earliest day. She wouldnt have had to go looking for it.
The doorbell rang.
"Hes here!" Lauren lurched away from the window and ran for the door, yanking it open. David stood there, wearing his red and white lettermans jacket and a pair of old jeans. He held a bouquet of red roses.
She threw her arms around him. When she drew back, laughing at her own desperation, her hands were trembling and tears stung her eyes. "I missed you. "
"I missed you, too. "
She took his hand, led him into the cottage. "Hey, Angie. You remember David. "
Angie walked toward them. Lauren felt a swell of pride at the sight of her. She looked so beautiful in her black clothes, with her flowing dark hair and movie star smile. "Its good to see you again, David. Did you have a nice Christmas?"
He kept his arm around Lauren. "It was okay. Aspens great if you wear fur and drink big martinis. I missed Lauren. "
Angie smiled. "That must be why you called so much. "