"She said, Take my baby. Just like that. " She sighed, felt him stiffen. "It was like being in a car wreck. Thats how hard and fast it hit me. "
"You said yes. "
She heard the dullness in his voice. She turned to face him, thankful at least that he hadnt pulled away. "What choice did I have? I love Lauren. Maybe I never should have let her into my heart--no. No, I wont say that. Im glad I did. Shes how I came back to myself. And to you. " She put her arms around his neck, held him close so that he had to look at her. "What if Sophia had asked this of us?"
"Shes not Sophia," he said, and she saw how much it hurt him to say that.
"Shes somebodys Sophia. Shes a scared seventeenyear-old who needs someone to love her, to take care of her. How can I say no to her? Do I tell her to give her baby to strangers when Im right here? When were right here?"
"Damn you, Angie. " He pushed past her, went into the other room.
She knew she shouldnt go to him, should give him time, but the thought of losing him again made her desperate. "How can we say no to this?" She crossed the room, came up beside him. "You could be his Little League coach--"
"Dont. " His voice was barely recognizable.
"How can we say no?" she said again, softer this time, forcing him to face her. As she asked the question, she couldnt help thinking about the day shed gone to his workplace, when Diane had said: Twice I came into his office and found him crying.
He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. "I dont think I can go through this again. Im sorry. "
She closed her eyes; those two words hurt all the way to the bone. "I know," she said, bowing her head forward. He was right. How could they--she--risk everything again? Tears burned her eyes. There was no good answer. She couldnt lose Conlan again . . . but how could she say no to Lauren? "I love you so much, Con," she whispered.
"And I love you. " The way he said the words they sounded like a curse.
"This could be our chance," she said.
"Weve thought that before," he reminded her dully. "Do you know what it was like for me, always picking you up, drying your tears, listening to you cry? Worrying that it was somehow my fault?"
She touched his face. "You had tears of your own. "
"Yes. " His voice was harsh.
"I never dried them. How could I when I never saw you cry?"
"Your pain was so big. . . . "
"Its different this time, Con. Were different. We could be a team. Maybe shell be able to go through with it, and well be the parents we always wanted to be. Or maybe shell back out, and itll be just us. Either way, well be okay. I swear it. " She dropped down to one knee, whispered, "Marry me, Conlan. "
He stared down at her, his eyes bright. "Damn you," he said, sinking slowly to his knees. "I cant live without you anymore. "
"Then dont. Please . . . " She kissed him. "Trust me, Conlan. This time well last forever. "
LAUREN HEARD DAVIDS CAR DRIVE UP. SHE RAN TO THE front door and opened it, waiting for him.
For the first time in months, he was smiling.
"Are you ready for this?" he asked, taking her hand in his.
"As ready as Ill ever be. "
They walked across the yard and got into his car. All the way to Mountainaire, he talked about the Porsche. Gear ratios and speed off the line and custom paint colors. She could tell how nervous he was, and strangely, his anxiety calmed her. When they reached his house, he parked the car, then let out a deep sigh and looked at her. "Youre sure?"
"I am. "
"Okay. "
They walked up the stone path to the Hayneses huge front door. David opened the door and led her into the cool, beige elegance of his home. "Mom? Dad?"
"Are you sure theyre home?" Lauren whispered, taking his hand.