Once in Every Life
She and Savannah hurried to his bedside. "Don't look, Daddy; close your eyes."
Jack did as he was told. He heard the rattling clank of little hands pawing through half-empty buckets.
"Okay," Savannah said, "open your eyes."
Jack opened his eyes and found himself staring at four shallow, wooden-framed boxes that were lined carefully against the foot of the bed. Each box had a pressed, perfect-looking flower fastened to its slatted back, and beneath each flower was a single word. Together they read: Happy Father's Day, Daddy.
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Jack's throat closed up. Emotion rendered him speechless.
"Happy Father's Day, Jack," Lissa said quietly from the doorway.
Jack turned to look at her, and immediately felt as if he'd been punched in the heart. She looked breathtakingly beautiful. Her hair was a leaf-and-twig-infested curtain of honey gold that slid down her arms and curled against her hip. Her pale skin had been darkened to a peachy pink by the warm sun, and her full mouth was curved in a heartbreaking smile.
He swallowed thickly. "What's Father's Day?" A frown passed across her brow, then disappeared. "Oh. I guess I just invented it. It's supposed to be in June sometime, but I figured May was close enough." She smiled. "It's a day to tell your father how much he means to you. How ... much you love him." "Daddy? Are you okay?" Savannah asked quietly. Daddy. The word twisted Jack's heart. He hadn't been much of one to her?probably couldn't be if he tried. But he was sick and tired of pretending not to care. Tired of living in an isolated, lonely world full of aching silences and wrenching regrets.
Don't do it. You'll fail. At the thought, Jack felt a rush of fear. It was easier somehow to be a father to Caleb; he was an infant. Caleb wouldn't know for years if his father had failed. Even Katydid might not notice, but Savannah was different. She was older, wiser. She'd see. She'd know he'd tried to be something he couldn't. She'd know he failed, and the failure would break both their hearts. / won't fail.
But this time the words didn't matter. Maybe he would fail, he thought tiredly, and maybe he wouldn't. But one thing he knew for sure?had always known?was that not trying was the biggest failure of all.
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Enough was enough, he decided. God had given him this chance for a new beginning?given it to all of them. And Jack wouldn't run away this time. He wouldn't be a coward again.
He turned slightly and gave Savannah a bright, love-filled smile. "I'm fine. Now, why don't you two climb on up here and tell me how you made these wonderful
boxes."
Savannah and Katie clambered on either side of him, sitting close, and began animatedly talking about flower picking and pressing.
Jack felt as if a thousand-pound weight had been lifted from his back. A warm sensation began in the pit of his stomach and spilled outward, radiating a sense of peace throughout his body. Tentatively he curled an arm around each girl's shoulder. Savannah and Katie immediately snuggled closer.
He laughed at something Katie said and looked up.
Lissa was still standing in the doorway, looking at him. Tears magnified her eyes. He was somehow certain that she knew how hard today had been. And that she was proud of him for making the effort.
Love for her washed through him in an overwhelming wave. "Thanks," he mouthed.
Eyes sparkling, she smiled. Then, plucking up her burr-dotted skirts, she came over and climbed up onto the bed, gently drawing Caleb into her arms. Savannah moved over to make room for her. Katie snuggled closer on Jack's lap. As his loved ones came closer, clustered around him, Jack felt the most powerful emotion he'd ever felt in his
life.
For the first time ever, they were a family.
Chapter Eighteen
That night, Tess sat on the swing, her fingers curled loosely around the rough ropes, and swung very slowly, letting her bare feet drag on the cold, dark earth.
She closed her eyes. The sounds of the night mesmerized her. The distant, echoing whoosh of the sea on the rocks and sand below, the airy cant of an early evening breeze, the shuffling movement of sheep settling down for the night.
She didn't take a single sound for granted; instead she focused on them one at a time, marveling in them all and the miracle it took for her to hear them.
"Lissa?"
Tess snapped upright and saw him standing on the porch, a tall, black shadow against the charcoal gray of the house.