Fox and Charlie excused themselves and told me to pass their goodbye’s to Adele and Calvin. They acted like he’s staying the night and I wanted to tell them both how very wrong they were.
When Calvin came downstairs, he had a look of peace on his face which broke into a huge smile when he saw me.
“She gave me a hug and it was the best feeling in the world. I think she’s getting used to the idea of me being around a little bit.”
Cal’s face was lit up like the showroom we first fucked in and he’s so devastatingly handsome, that if I were in my right mind, I’d tear his clothes off of him.
He’s wearing sweats and a simple white t-shirt, with blond hair tousled just right, a touch of stubble showing on his chiseled jaw.
“You are so fucking beautiful, El. Sometimes it’s hard to look at you,” he told me.
We’re standing in my hall by the door. I stayed arm’s distance away from him because I didn’t trust myself to get any closer.
“Same to you, Montgomery.” My memories didn’t help me. I remembered the showroom. His passion, his hard cock demanding my attention, my absolute hunger for him, and an insatiable desire on both sides. Calvin and I could never get enough of each other. The connection was still there, an invisible thread that binds us to one another.
“I want to hug you goodnight, but I’m afraid I can’t stop there. I want to be polite.”
I stared at his lips, the slope of his nose, the spark in his eyes that pulled me to him. He didn’t break eye contact and licked his lips, shoving his hands in his pockets. My eyes traveled to his forearms which practically made me drool. Strong and corded, dusted with his blond hair, covered in shitty tattoos.
“Do you have any new ink?” I swallowed. Anything to get my head out of his pants. Anything to break this heavy silence.
Calvin surprised me by ripping his t-shirt off by the neck. He yanked it over his head and he had a new gothic-lettered tattoo that swooped across his collarbone. It said…E-L-L-I-S-O-N. My knees nearly buckled when I finally realized what he’d done.
I stared at him speechless. He smiled sheepishly and grabbed his chin with his forefinger and thumb and looked at the floor.
“Holy shit, Calvin,” I said.
I wanted him so badly that I couldn’t take it anymore. I couldn’t be responsible. I couldn’t push him away when I didn’t want to. I’d never stopped loving him.
I stepped forward challenging him.
Calvin stepped to me and his chest was just inches from mine.
“Ellison,” he rasped.
He leaned in and I leaned back until I was flush with the wall. He caged me in and I could feel his heart beat in tandem with my own. I could smell Calvin and his scent hadn’t changed, it’s still the young virile man I remembered from high school.
We locked eyes and Calvin leaned into me, his lips grazed my cheek as he whispered.
“Tell me no, El. Tell me to back off and to the get the fuck out of your house, cause I can’t control myself around you anymore. I don’t want to pretend I’m not in love with you.”
I turned my head just a fraction, but our noses grazed, his stubble brushed my cheek. He raised his hand and cupped my cheek, our lips skimmed and I gulped air.
“I can’t say that,” I said into his mouth.
To the love of my life. The father of my child.
Calvin’s mouth crashed into mine. He captured my lips and my tongue and we soared together, high on the new, yet familiar taste of one another. A kiss like no other, my senses were all heightened and haywire. I lost sense of time and place, caught up in frames of sweet and painful memories—the past blurred into the present while I griped the man I loved and held onto him for dear life.
I loved him then, I loved him now, I’d love him forever.
Calvin held me to the wall, his erection pressed into my belly with urgency. When his kisses left my mouth, they traveled down my neck and across my décolleté sending shivers racing across the planes of my flesh.
“Ellison,” he said, his voice hoarse with desire.
I’ll never want anyone else. Calvin is the end all, be all for me.
“Mom!” Adele hollered from her room.
I shoved Calvin away instinctively like we’d been caught by our parents and would get in big trouble.
“Coming!” I yelled to my daughter, then quieter to Calvin, “Go! You have to leave. I’m sorry. I can’t do this.”
“El, she’s ours. She’s our daughter. Adele said so herself, she wants us back together,” he protested.
I know he’s right, but something still made me freeze up. I’d been hurt too many times and now it’s just a trauma response. Close up, shut down, think about something else.