“It could take a bit of time for your health to be properly restored,” Ashwood said, pouring him a cup of tea. “You were quite ill and needed a rallying effort.”
“Is that why you…shifted in the middle of the night?” His cheeks heated as he remembered it all too fondly, which would not do at all. But the moment had captivated him, and it wasn’t something he would soon forget.
“Perhaps.” Ashwood’s eyes were wide with worry as he helped adjust him on the pillow, then passed him the cup. This time, the light-headedness was kept at bay. “Did I frighten you?”
Bellamy’s entire body flushed at the memory of burrowing his fingers in the wolf’s fur, then falling into a deep slumber from having him near. He took a sip of tea, which helped his parched throat. “No, I—” He shook his head, trying to make sense of it.
“In my wolf form, I could more easily scent you and provide you warmth. It’s not something I can easily put into words, but I felt this great need…” He clutched his chest, and Bellamy felt a stirring in his own simply from watching him try to explain something that was undoubtedly so much a part of his nature.
“It felt innate?” Bellamy asked.
“Yes, almost…primitive.” He glanced out the window. “It felt the right thing to do at the time.”
“I didn’t mind. Besides, it seemed to work.”
“I’m glad.” His smile was sad. “When I’m in that form, I can barely feel my human self. Some days it’s tempting to just remain a wolf.”
That bothered Bellamy. He couldn’t imagine never laying eyes on Ashwood again. But wasn’t that exactly where this was leading? To their parting for good? In fact, before ending up in his bed, he’d hoped for such a thing, so what had changed?
He tempered his reaction, then asked, “Why?”
Ashwood shrugged. “So I don’t have to experience these human emotions.”
“Sounds rather tempting.”
They shared a brief, sympathetic look. Why wouldn’t Bellamy want to rid himself of the constant grief and regret gnawing at his insides? If Ashwood’s wolf form could take that away even momentarily, he could understand the draw.
“Your wolf was very warm,” he said and felt a flush crawl across his cheeks.
“Hopefully not too warm?” Ashwood asked, amused.
“Maybe a little,” Bellamy replied, the beginning of a smile tugging at his lips. He focused on the tea but felt Ashwood’s gaze pressing on him. “What?”
“Sorry, it’s just…your smile. It’s rare to see of late,” he said honestly. “That must mean you’re feeling better.”
“I am. It’s…odd. I’m so used to everything aching all at once, I’m not sure what to do with myself.” It had only been weeks since he’d begun growing increasingly ill, but it felt like months and months. And now…now there were only quiet whispers of the aches and dizziness. He hadn’t even had a coughing spell since he’d awakened.
“Well, your fever has broken,” Ashwood said, pressing the back of his hand to his forehead. Bellamy still felt clammy, but not like before. “Perhaps you can eat something more substantial, to give you energy and sustenance.”
Bellamy motioned to the tray. “I’m certainly feeling hungry.”
“That’s a good sign.” Ashwood scooped some fruit and a biscuit onto a plate.
Bellamy was able to adjust himself enough to sit taller, noting that the nausea seemed to have passed. It dawned on him that he was still partially nude, and he quickly lifted the bed linens to cover more of his torso, the blush rising on his cheeks as he recalled the previous evening.
“I see the rash is nearly gone,” Ashwood said, handing him the plate. “You look better overall. But it might take one more evening to be sure. I’m sorry if that’s not what you wanted to hear.”
“On the contrary, after what I’ve been through, I’m confident I can handle it.” He took a bite of a refreshing strawberry, surprised at how good it tasted. “In fact, I’m so tired of looking at these four walls, I’d like to hear what is happening in Lunar’s Reach. Anything at all.”
Ashwood glanced out the window. “The sickness is all but eradicated.”
“That’s good news. Madam Langley must be so relieved.”
“Perhaps she has finally been able to have a rest.”
He thought of her trying desperately to minister not only to all the lads at Moon Flower, but also anyone who visited the apothecary.
“No doubt your madam will be happy to hear of your recovery.”
“Most definitely,” he said fondly. “She would find your healing skills impressive. Azriel as well.”
“Azriel?”
“He was Madam Langley’s apprentice if you will.”
“Was?”
“He ran off with his beloved, Galen, whom I already mentioned.”
He nodded. “Did their escape have anything to do with the condition that befell the constable?”
Bellamy held his breath as fear gripped him. But this was Ashwood, and he’d been participant and witness to many unfortunate things. “The constable was very fond of the madam’s moon-flower tea.”