“I forgive you,” Bellamy uttered suddenly, without any forethought, but he didn’t regret the words. These hours and days spent with Ashwood were confusing and frustrating, but in the end, in his very heart, he believed Ashwood was sorry for his actions.
Ashwood’s lips parted in a silent gasp. “What?”
“I forgive you.” Bellamy motioned with his hand as if it were a silly matter between them, when he knew full well it was not. “I don’t want you to live with this guilt. You’ve more than made up for it.”
“I…thank you.” Ashwood’s voice was thick with emotion. “I’m not sure I deserve it, but nonetheless, thank you.”
The urge to go to him was strong, but Bellamy held himself back, merely patting his knee with trembling fingers. It would only create further confusion between them. But at least he could absolve Ashwood, and they could live separately in peace—he hoped. The idea of them officially parting made his chest feel heavy like he couldn’t breathe, but after everything they’d been through, he didn’t think he could look at Ashwood as he once did. There would always be underlying resentment and fear between them.
To his relief, the rest of the journey was spent discussing more trivial matters, but as they pulled into Destiny’s Fall, it all came rushing back. The simple life he’d had with his mother. How she’d been his whole world. His eyes stung with unshed tears.
“Are you all right?” Ashwood asked, his hand warm on his arm as he glanced out the window.
“Yes. It feels…surreal, like it couldn’t have possibly happened.”
“I know exactly what you mean.”
He almost asked the driver to pull up to the small room they’d rented, but he knew it would be of no consequence. Someone else would be living there now, and besides, it would not bring his mother back.
Thankfully, Lady Osborn lived on the outskirts of the village, and as the carriage stopped at the livery and they stepped out into the fresh air, he barely recognized his surroundings.
“I will feed and water the horses,” the driver said gruffly. “There’s an inn if you decide to stay overnight. Otherwise, I can arrange another driver and carriage for the return trip.”
They’d been in such a rush to leave, Bellamy hadn’t even considered lodging or other arrangements.
“It might be a good idea to lodge here overnight and begin again fresh at dawn,” Ashwood said. “Besides, it’s nearly dinnertime.”
“I agree.” So they made arrangements to return to Lunar’s Reach the following morning.
Afterward, they secured two rooms at the inn, then found a table in the crowded pub and ordered ale and mutton stew. Bellamy was so parched, he knocked back the refreshing drink, then ordered another round for them both.
“I’m famished,” he said, digging into his meal.
“Apparently so.” Ashwood’s eyes sparkled, and it felt good in that moment with him, just being themselves and enjoying a simple meal without all the resentment.
Once he was sufficiently full, he lowered his voice and bent toward Ashwood across the table. “Do you think this might be a good enough area to…?”
“To what?” Ashwood arched an eyebrow.
“To head into the woods?” he whispered, careful not to utter aloud anything incriminating.
Ashwood’s gaze swung toward the window. “I suppose it would be. Let’s see about Lady Osborn first.”
Chapter 16
They inquired of the innkeeper, who pointed them in the right direction. Strolling toward Lady Osborn’s residence felt good after being cooped up in the coach all afternoon. This section of town was nearly in shambles, in dire need of repairs, just as he recollected from the carriage ride with his mother. They both flung coins into a man’s basin, hoping it would provide him a decent meal that night.
“This is it,” Bellamy said, recognizing the building, which was even worse for wear now than the first time he’d seen it. The redbrick structure was still overgrown with vines, but someone had planted some delicate white flowers in front of the building that were in desperate need of water.
“Are you certain you’re ready for this?” Ashwood asked with concern in his eyes.
“I need to know,” Bellamy replied, and Ashwood nodded.
They quietly entered the building and walked up two flights of stairs. The memory seized him, and he knew with certainty, like it was seared into his brain, that it was the third door on the right.
The same woman from years ago pulled open the door, and it didn’t seem like she’d aged a day since he’d last laid eyes on her. She wore a simple dress with several long strands of crystal jewelry hanging from her neck, matching the sparking stones on her fingers. Her blue irises were striking against her dark hair, which she wore in a modest braid. Her face was still drawn, there were more lines around her frown, but from his current standpoint, she didn’t look nearly as intimidating.