I’d never get her screams out of my head, or the vision of her on the ground. She had curled up into a ball and let Gus go. He was bounding back to us, then to her, then to us, then to her until we got to her.
I lost five years of my life that day, in that small moment. Ash was mine. Mine to protect, and I had failed her that day. I would never fail her again.
I was reminding him of this today.
“You can’t kill me. You do and sicarios will go after Verónica—”
“Bullshit.”
I could do it, now. Tonight. I could end everything. I could end what future war I felt was coming.
“You will never let some sicario find our sister, kill her, and take over your empire. The day your son was born was the day you called that order off.”
He slumped, resignation coming over him. I was right.
He asked, more wary, “What do you want, Raize?”
“I want you to know how it feels, knowing that I could’ve taken them when I took that picture. I was in the room with them, in their house. Just like tonight. No one knows I’m here. No one. Imagine how easy it is for me, especially when you are making more enemies. You’re making powerful enemies. They enjoy having me as their ally.”
“You’re lying—”
“About what? There’s nothing to lie about.”
“What.” He gritted his teeth, the white flashing in the moonlight. “—do you want?”
“Just this. I wanted you to know I can get to you, anywhere you go.”
I couldn’t kill him, though I wanted to. He was still needed. Roman needed him, but Marco was getting more powerful. He was allied with other cartels, whereas Roman was still by himself, but the day would come. It would.
I just had to wait.
When it would, when I was given the okay to take him out, I’d do it this way. I wanted him to die alone, within reach of help, but unable to call for it. It felt fitting.
And I’d given my message.
I tightened my hold, enough until he went unconscious, and then I eased his body down.
I grabbed his phone, synced it to the burner one I had with me, and took his gun.
Then I left, leaving through his blind spots that every estate had.
It wasn’t easy for others, but it was for me. Ash had her skill. This was mine.
Epilogue after the Epilogue
THE CANARY
“I’m pregnant.”
Good God, how did this happen?
Well, all the sex. That’s how it happened, but I collapsed on our bed.
Raize was being sent out on a mission for Roman, but this happened often over the last couple years. I wasn’t too worried. Roman never sent him on anything too harrying. He was always back within a day and over the last couple years, regarding our world, there wasn’t much I could complain about.
Roman Marakov was true to his word.
He didn’t traffic women.
And if there was killing, I wasn’t in on those talks.
I’d been called in on mostly legit business meetings, but for Raize, we didn’t talk about what Roman sent him off to do. I thought it was a good balance for us. I was still in the world. He was, too. We were together, but it wasn’t how it was when we first got together.
In a way, life was almost normal...almost.
Except for my surprise, which showed up a few days ago, and after I lost it, called Tracey and lost it to her, and then she talked me into getting a doctor test done. I did that, and he called with the results and what was I doing?
“What?”
Raize had paused, packing his guns into his bag.
I said it again, whispering this time, “I’m pregnant.”
I wanted to cry because who raised a child in this life?
Raize didn’t have the same mentality.
He straightened abruptly and a wide smile came over his face. He took two steps, scooped me up from the bed, and then he sat back down with me on his lap. “You serious?” His hand came over my stomach, gently, so tenderly. He was looking down, a mystified and almost wondrous look coming over him. “There’s a little me and you in there?”
My throat swelled up with so much emotion. I was fast blinking back all the tears.
My guy, I loved my guy so much.
I could only hold on tighter because my tears were starting to blind me.
I said, in a low voice, “You’re not mad?”
His hand pressed tighter and his voice came out rough. “Fuck no.” He couldn’t keep talking. He choked off and he pressed his forehead into my neck and shoulder. We were both holding on to each other, emotion completely taking over both of us.
And damn, it was a lot.
I felt completely wiped out, from good and bad and nerves and happiness and everything in between. I was exhausted and wanting to run a marathon all at the same time. And terrified. I was definitely and completely trying to keep myself from doing a full body tremble in Raize’s arms.