My ma shakes her head slowly, her eyes detached and looking for the truth between all of my words. “I … I just don’t understand. Bobby, I … I …”
“You know what happened at the movie theater, Ma, but you don’t know why.” I lean toward her, bringing her eyes to mine. “Jimmy tried to attack Anthony because Anthony called me his boyfriend. Right there in front of everyone. And Jimmy couldn’t handle it. He took offense. He just … lost his cool, just from that one little word.”
She sighs. “Oh, poor Jimmy.”
I stare at her. “Poor Jimmy …??”
“It can’t be easy for him, having to figure out his feelings for you in a place like Spruce where secrets don’t live long lives.” She takes my hand, startling me. “It might’ve hurt you, how he acted, but I say forgive him still. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you.”
“He hasn’t done anything to prove it,” I say, “except freak out when some dumbass at the theater called me his boyfriend, then give me a bloody nose.”
“What a romantic story to tell the kids someday,” sings my ma in her wispy voice.
I frown at her. “This isn’t a time for jokes, Ma.”
“You know darn well I am not going to leave this room until I know you’re going to get ready in your cute outfit that matches my dress perfectly. I am not going to this gosh-darned fancy-pancy Ball without my son at my side.”
I eye her severely.
Then she smacks me on the arm. “Get up and shake off this moody mood you’ve had on you these past seventeen-somethin’ days! Yes, I’ve been countin’, but I might be off by one or two.”
I rub my arm where she smacked me, surprised. I rarely see this side of my sweet, feathery-voiced ma. “What has gotten into you?? What happened to what you said to me last night, that I can take all the time I need to feel better?”
She shrugs. “Maybe the Spruce sass is rubbin’ off on me.” Then she gives my foot a squeeze and a shaking. “Or maybe I just can’t stand to see my son unhappy for another day. You look so cute in blue, Bobby, my boy. Let’s be pretty together, and show all of Spruce how the Parkers get up after being knocked down.” She smiles warmly, then rises from my bed and sees herself out.
I sigh and stare ahead at my outfit hanging on the back of my closet door.
I’m wearing the same pair of soccer shorts and an oversized gray t-shirt I’ve been in for the past three days. I was completely committed to staying home tonight and watching reruns of whatever’s playing on Adult Swim.
Then that reminds me of Jimmy at once.
And all the dumb shows he finds so funny.
His laughter is caught in my ears now.
I shut my eyes. Forgive him. My ma’s sweet voice keeps circling around in my brain like a buzzard. Forgive him. But does forgiving him also mean continuing to suffer as his secret boyfriend? And for how long? Forgive him, I keep hearing, but what happens if Jimmy and I don’t work out as boyfriends?
What’s left? Can we go back to being just friends? Is that even possible after the things we’ve said and done?
I don’t know.
But suddenly, I realize I need to be at the dumb Spruce Ball no matter how I feel.
I need to see Jimmy Strong.
First things first, however: I’m gonna need a shower.
A really, really long one.
An hour and a half later, the sun has fallen, the stars fill the sky, and the moonlight spills over our heads as my ma, my pa, and I make the long drive out to the McPherson’s mansion. We park on a long curved driveway lit by paper lanterns. The wind is eerily still tonight, so all the trees look like creepy silhouettes pasted against the sky, not a single one of them swaying or moving. We walk a curved path leading up to the house, which is a glowing three-story beacon in the middle of the impenetrable darkness that is the woods surrounding it.
We’re greeted at the door by TJ McPherson, the sixteen-year-old baby of the family who works at Billy’s T&S Shoppe. It is clear that the boy is well-off from his stylish shoes to his crisp, tailored pants and smart, formfitting suit. His face, however, is cheery and welcoming as he invites us inside, happy to receive us.
The front doors open to a jaw-dropping spread of twin spiral staircases and a grand room that can only be described as a lobby, which leads further into the house. One branch takes you through a gallery of local artwork being (silently) auctioned off. Another leads you through a dining area with a gasp-worthy spread of food catered locally by various sponsors and restaurants.