“You need to eat something,” he whispered.

“I’m not hungry,” I mumbled as I stared out the window.

“Sutton,” he groaned. “You can’t shut down.”

He was right, but that still didn’t make me feel like moving.

Eventually he got out of the car and came around to my side. He opened the door and pulled me out.

“Memphis,” I whined, “I look like crap,” I pointed to my face where there were bound to be streaks of mascara. “Don’t make me go in there.”

“Excuses, excuses,” he muttered as he took my hand and dragged me inside.

Nobody paid us any attention as he led us to a booth in the back.

I wiped underneath my eyes and picked up a menu. I wasn’t hungry, not at all, but I knew he was right and I needed to eat. When the waitress came by we both ordered a glass of water.

I perused the menu, hoping something would taste good to me. Even though it was well after lunchtime, the restaurant served breakfast all day, so I decided to order an omelet. I figured I couldn’t go wrong with that.

Memphis clasped his hands together and eyed me. “How are you feeling?”

I traced my finger along one of the wood grains in the table and mumbled, “Scared.”

“I believe that is perfectly normal,” he assured me.

“Normal or not,” I commented, taking a sip of water, “I don’t enjoy the feeling.”

He reached across the table and put his hand atop mine. “This isn’t the end of the world, Sutton.”

“You’re not the one having a baby,” I muttered.

“That’s true,” he agreed with a nod. “But I’ll be there for you, I know Daphne and Emery will too. We may not be family but we’re not going anywhere. You’re not alone in this. He might be gone—”

“Caelan,” I interrupted. “You can say his name. It doesn’t bother me.” Actually, it did, but it was better if I heard it. I needed to become desensitized.

He cleared his throat. “Caelan, might be gone, but you don’t have to raise this baby by yourself.”

“Are you proposing marriage?” I kept a straight face, even though I meant the question as a joke.

Memphis paled and then laughed. “As much as I’d like to marry you someday, I have feeling if I asked you right this second, they’d end up carrying me out of here in a body bag.”

“You’ve got that right,” I smiled. Tugging my hair over my shoulder, I let out a sigh. “I know this isn’t a bad thing unless I make it that way. But this is a human being we’re talking about. I can keep myself alive, and my cat, but a baby? I’m not good with kids!” I cried. “The moment they start screaming I’m done and hand them back to their parents. I can’t do that if it’s my kid!” My hand went to my flat stomach and I rubbed it absentmindedly. “I want my baby, so please don’t doubt me there, but I’m not sure I can do this.”

“You can and you will,” he assured me.

I wished I had as much faith in myself as he had in me.

???

Memphis dropped me off at the apartment and headed to work. Once inside, I grabbed a piece of paper, a pen, and began to compose my second letter.

Since the first had been sent back, it was probably a stupid idea to try to send another, but I didn’t have any other options at this point. Also, I found writing to him to be therapeutic and cleansing. Even if he didn’t read it, I’d feel better.

Dear Caelan,

The first letter I wrote to you was sent back to me. Unopened. I don’t know whether you never got it, or if you simply didn’t want to read it. I was mad at first, but since things are over between us I have no real reason to even talk to you. I know it would be best for me to move on and forget you. I’m trying, even though I don’t want to. I’m beginning to realize, that when I move on (and I say when, because I won’t pine for you forever Caelan Gregory) I’ll always love you. You hold a special place in my heart. That kind of love doesn’t go away.

But that’s not why I’m writing you this letter.

Tags: Micalea Smeltzer Romance
Source: readsnovelonline.net