I nodded.
“I asked you to focus on a goal for when you got out of here.”
I nodded again.
“Would you mind sharing that goal with me?”
“Uh…” I didn’t see why not, so I forged ahead. “I want to own my own art gallery. I want to be able to display my own art, as well as other locals, and maybe offer classes to children and adults that are interested.”
Alex’s smile widened further. “I’m proud of you, Caelan. You’ve done an exceptional job here. At first, I thought you were going to be one of my hardest patients but you’ve really been a breeze.”
I rested my elbows on the arms of the chair I sat in. “I realized that I was constantly making everything about me. I was acting like my problems were worse than everyone else’s and that’s not true.”
“I think you have a very good goal for yourself, but if it doesn’t work out, you should consider being a therapist.”
I snorted at that. Me? A therapist? He was definitely crazy.
“Yeah, so not happening doc.”
“Well,” he chuckled, “it was worth a shot.”
We spent the rest of the time talking about what I wanted to do on the outside—see, prison talk—and he told me if I ever felt myself slipping to never hesitate to call him day or night. I took the business card he handed me but I didn’t intend to use it. I felt great—not healed or anything, but like a normal human being. The hurt and aching was still there, I think it always would be, but I didn’t feel the need to make it g
o away. Feeling was a part of being human. Trying to mask your emotions was a dangerous thing.
“I’ll see you again soon,” Alex said as my time was up. I left quickly, but I wasn’t desperate to escape Alex’s company. While, initially, he’d pissed me off I’d quickly learned that he really was on my side and having gone through this same stuff I could confide in him. Talking to people that could relate was a gift. I’d fought hard against going to rehab before, but I was glad I’d done it. I knew a part of me would probably always ache for the drugs and alcohol—probably the alcohol even more so, since it was much easier to acquire—but I could make the choice to stay away. Saying ‘no’ was a powerful thing, even when it was yourself you were denying.
???
Sutton
“Are you two dating?”
My eyes threatened to bug out of my head at Daphne’s question. Memphis chuckled beside me and Emery grinned from the other side of the table.
“I hate to inform you, Daphne, but she doesn’t like me like that.” Memphis stretched his arm across the back of the booth.
I laughed and shifted my head to look at him. “Who’s saying I don’t? And, in case you forgot, I’m kinda pregnant and last time I checked you weren’t the father.”
“Doesn’t mean you can’t date,” he countered, smiling widely.
“That would be fucking weird,” I mumbled.
“You’ve got the arguing like an old married couple down pat,” Emery interrupted.
While things with Memphis had been friendly lately, and he made his attraction clear, it just felt strange. What could he possibly see in me? I’d pushed him away and now I was having a baby. What sane male wants that kind of baggage?
“I don’t see what would be weird about it,” Memphis addressed my previous comment. “It’s not like I’ve recently developed feelings for you. I’ve known you for over six months now. It’s not like I have some disturbing fetish you should worry about.”
“Like wanting to bang a pregnant woman?” I asked.
He had been taking a sip of his soda and it sprayed out of his mouth across the table at my question. He coughed and tried to regain his breath. “You’re something else,” he told me once he’d regained his breath.
Smiling, I chirped, “I know.”
Memphis wasn’t staying with me anymore, but we did hang out a lot. I enjoyed his company and it was nice not being alone. He didn’t pressure me for more, even though I knew he wanted it. He was waiting for me to make the first move. While the desire was there, I was scared. My feelings for Caelan hadn’t disappeared—they never would—and I was pregnant. To have a relationship with Memphis seemed wrong. I felt like I’d hold him back from bigger and better things. Did he really want to handle a baby and me? And what if things between us ended a few years down the road and it hurt my child too? It was a lot to consider, but I also knew I couldn’t let fear hold me back.
I hadn’t said anything to Memphis about Marcus yet, but I knew I needed to. Now that I was having a baby, I definitely needed to get a restraining order filed against him. I didn’t only have myself to worry about anymore. I wouldn’t let that psycho fucker mess with my baby. Toying with my bottom lip I watched Memphis from the corner of my eye. I needed to tell him. Daphne and Emery too. They’d all been far too good to me and I was harboring secrets. It wasn’t right. For my wellbeing I needed to get it out in the open. Caelan had helped me to see that I wasn’t ruined because of it. Still, it was something that was hard to talk about.