Beauty in the Ashes

“What?” I shook my head free of my thoughts.

“Are you okay?” He peered at me. “You zoned out there for a minute.”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” I rubbed my face. “I’m just really tired after everything.”

“Oh,” he paled, “of course you are. I’m sure you’re hungry too, since you came storming out here after me and we hadn’t eaten yet.”

At the mention of food my stomach rumbled. He chuckled, having heard it.

I turned to head inside, but he grabbed my hand to stop me. He smoothed the strands of my hair away from my face. I expected him to say something swoony and romantic because it was Memphis, but that didn’t happen. Instead, his face darkened and rage stormed in his eyes. “After we leave here, I’m taking you straight to the police department and you’re filing a restraining order against Marcus. No excuses. You have to think about your safety and the baby’s. I won’t allow him to come within a hundred feet of you. I’m not typically a violent man, but if I ever see that man I will make sure to put him in a grave.”

I put a hand on his shoulder in a reassuring gesture. “Don’t worry, I know that needs to be done. I’ve been putting it off, because let’s face it I’m not the most brilliant person on the planet. I won’t let him hurt me again. I’m burying him—figuratively, of course,” I laughed.

“You’re not stupid,” he brushed a gentle finger down my cheek, “you just think you’re stronger than you really are. Everyone has breaking points, but you want to believe you don’t.”

“Geez,” I shook my head, “it’s like you know me better than I know myself.”

He chuckled as his hands fell to his sides. “I pay more attention than most people. It’s called being a bartender,” he winked. “You pick up on human behavior real fast in that job.”

We both laughed at that as we headed inside the restaurant. Daphne had stopped crying and Emery smiled as we approached. Those two weren’t dating yet, but I still had my hopes. They both noted that something had shifted in my relationship with Memphis, but they managed to keep their mouths shut. I knew it wouldn’t be long until they asked questions. For now, I didn’t have an answer as to what we were and that was okay. It was nice to just…be.

CHAPTER 32

Caelan

I’d been out of rehab for three weeks. I thought it would be easy to adjust back into the real world. I was wrong. It was the fucking hardest thing I’d ever done. Kyle was trying to understand, but he truly didn’t get it. I was beginning to regret my decision to move in with him. I had no place to escape to be alone. I thought it would be good to have someone to keep me in line and to be honest, I hadn’t wanted to see Sutton. My time away had given me a much-needed clarity. I was right to end things. We weren’t good together, that was obvious to anyone with eyes, and I wasn’t ready to face her. I knew one day, I’d find her and we’d have a discussion about things but it couldn’t happen now. If I saw her…it would be a reminder of how fucked up I’d been and the lengths I’d gone to, to never lose her. Most women thought it was so romantic when a couple would go to extreme lengths to be together, but I had news for them, it wasn’t romantic. It was fucked up. You shouldn’t be willing to die just so you don’t have to live without a person. That shows a startling dependency that is entirely unhealthy.

Oh, shit. I was starting to think like Alex now.

That couldn’t be good.

“Want some breakfast, man?” Kyle poked his head through the doorway of the bedroom that was temporarily mine.

“Sure,” I replied.

“I’m heading to a diner down the road. Get dressed and meet me in the car.”

With a groan, I pushed myself from the bed and got dressed. Some of my art supplies were scattered around the small room, but I hadn’t bothered to paint very much. I hadn’t felt like it. This wasn’t my home and I didn’t want to mess up Kyle’s stuff. I would start looking for an apartment soon, but I wanted to live here for at least another month—I needed to know in my heart that I was ready to deal with everything on my own. The pull was still there, but I was fighting it. Kyle had gotten rid of all the alcohol in his house so that I couldn’t get any from him. Smart man. I might’ve been tempted to sneak a few times. I knew staying sober was necessary for my wellbeing and any chance at a happy future I may have.

Kyle drove us a few blocks down the road and we walked into the diner.

Our conversation was easy as we ate. While Kyle had stuck around after I went off the deep-end, our relationship had changed and it wasn’t an easy-going friendship anymore. We were getting that back though.

When we left, Kyle offered to drive me home before he went to work, but there was somewhere I needed to go. Kyle appeared reluctant to leave me alone, but I assured him I’d be fine. He couldn’t keep me on a leash.

With my hands in my pockets, I walked around town for a while before heading to the cemetery. I knew there was a chance I could see Sutton and that scared me. Luckily, I didn’t encounter her. I wasn’t sure what I would’ve done if I had spotted her.

I entered the cemetery with my head bowed. I had the walk memorized and didn’t need to look where I was going.

When I reached their graves, though, I was startled to find a woman there.

At first my mind played tricks on me and I thought it was Sutton. But the woman kneeling on the ground had red hair, not raven-colored. I was relieved. After all, it couldn’t have possibly been Sutton. I’d never told her where my family was buried. Although, with her handy-dandy Google search skills she could have probably found them if she really wanted to.

The woman stood, wiping beneath her eyes. When she finally turned and saw me she nearly jumped out of her skin.

“Oh my God!” She placed a hand against her chest, taking a few steps back. “You scared me.”

My eyes scanned her familiar features and my brows furrowed together as I tried to place her. I knew her, but I couldn’t quite remember how. The memory was there, in the back of my mind as a hazy image.