I don’t bother telling him to leave. I know he won’t anyway, and besides, I kind of want him here. Without him there, I might make a mad dash for the window, and running away from my problems won’t erase them.
I finish, lay the stick on the counter, and wash my hands.
Xander wraps his arms around my body, smoothing his long fingers through my hair. His lips press ever-so-softly against the top of my head and I wrap my arms around his body, pressing the side of my face against his hard chest. Wetness coats my face, soaking into his shirt. I hate that I’m crying again, but I can’t help it. I’m scared to death.
“It’s okay,” he whispers. “I’m here. I’m right here.”
He is and he always has been. He’s my rock—the impenetrable force that holds me up when life gets rough.
Minutes pass and finally, he says, “We can look now.”
I ease out of his hold and reach for the stick. My stomach drops. “What does this mean? I forgot what you said. Is it positive? Xander?” I ramble, seconds away from losing what’s left of my mind.
He picks up the directions, reads them, and looks at the stick. “It’s negative.”
I exhale a heavy breath. “You’re sure?” He nods and I break out in my happy dance. Raising my arms in the air, I chant, “Hallelujah, no bun in the oven here.” I smack my stomach for emphasis.
His lips twitch with laughter and he leans his hip against the counter, crossing his arms over his chest as he watches me. I’m sure I’m putting on an entertaining show as I dance around.
When I finish my awkward dance, I look at him, fighting a smile. “Let’s grab our furbaby and go for a walk to celebrate.”
He shakes his head. “That’s your idea of a celebration?”
“Well, that and an Oreo McFlurry.” I wink.
“Of course.” He steps away from the counter. “You better put on a shirt, though. You might give the old guy down the street a heart attack if he sees you like this.” He nods his head at my black bra.
I shrug. “Then he shouldn’t be looking. Not my fault these things are fucking great.” I grab my boobs—which to be honest there isn’t all that much there to grab—and Xander busts out laughing.
“You …” He pauses, wagging his finger in the air. “You’re something else.”
“Eh.” I shrug. “I try.” I sashay out of the bathroom, floating on cloud nine, because even though Aunt Flo might be late, I’m not pregnant.
I jog up the stairs and Prue lifts her head from where she’s lying outside Xander’s door. When she sees it’s only me, she promptly lies back down.
I grab a shirt and tug it on. My hair’s a mess from lying on the floor so I run into the bathroom and brush it quickly before pulling it up into a messy bun. When I leave my room, Prue’s no longer lying on the floor and I find her downstairs with Xander, already on her leash. Her tail wags giddily; Prue loves to go for walks.
The last few evenings, Cade and Rae accompanied us for her evening walk, so it’s nice to go just us.
Xander bends down and rubs her head and makes the funniest face at her; I laugh but I probably shouldn’t since I’m sure I’ve made the same face countless times. There’s something about a dog that brings out the weird in you.
“Ready?” he asks.
I nod, shoving my feet into a pair of my flip-flops strewn on the floor. We head out through the garage and I stop to grab our sunglasses from his car. I hand him his and slip mine on before opening the door. It whirs up and then we wait for it to go back down before heading down the long driveway.
We’re quiet as we walk and I marvel at the sunlight shining through the leaves of the trees. All too soon fall will be here and they’ll shrivel up and die. I’m scared that what I have with Xander will shrivel up and die with them. I know I went into this completely against it, but I love Xander and I can already feel myself falling in love with him. I don’t want to lose him, but I don’t see how I can keep him. We went into things all wrong. Who gets married and then decides to stay together? I feel like we’re destined to end in a fiery flame. I don’t want that but I can’t shake my feeling of foreboding.
As we walk, Xander eventually reaches over and entwines our fingers together. I smile and walk that much closer to him.
I guess, if this is meant to end, there’s no harm in enjoying it while it lasts.
I look up at him and he smiles down at me. His dark hair tumbles over his forehead, and I swear he’s the most handsome man I’ve ever seen. It’s no wonder I’ve had no luck in the dating department the last few years. When you compare a guy to Xander, they’re always going to fall flat. And what I really love about him is he’s more than a pretty face—his heart is pure and kind, and he’s the most caring person I know.
I lean my head against his shoulder and I know, rather than see, that he’s smiling.
We walk another block before he speaks. “Let’s go on a date tonight.”
I lift my head from his shoulder. “Like a real, actual date?” I raise a brow.