“You wanna die?” I force the words out between a tight jaw. “Is that it?”
He stops when we get to the bottom of the stairs and lifts his head. His face is pale, except for the dark circles around his sunken eyes. He’s also lost a bit of weight.
“Maybe I do,” he answers in a low voice devoid of emotion. “Maybe I’m just tired of fighting the black nothingness that’s always there, waiting for the right time to suck me under. Maybe I don’t want to fight it anymore.”
I tighten my arm that’s around his waist and don’t give a flying fuck when he winces. My eyes turn hard, and I’ve got no doubt they’re flashing fire when I glare at him. I bend down until my nose almost touches his. He needs to hear this and he needs to hear it well.
“And maybe you should think about someone else besides yourself. How in the hell do you think I, Trouble, and Judge would feel if you weren’t around anymore? Have you thought of that? Have you thought of what it would do to us? Do you have any fuckin’ clue how much that would hurt us? We’re brothers, Emo, the four of us. If one of us dies, it wouldn’t be like losing an arm or leg, we’d lose a part of our Goddamn hearts.”
He doesn’t say anything, just looks at me with emotionless eyes and gives me a silent nod. Emo’s talked about letting the blackness take him a few times before—usually when he’s going through a particularly rough time—and each time it does, it pisses my brothers and me off. I don’t know if he would actually go through with it, but even the thought sends my heart rate into overdrive.
We walk slowly up the steps and into the living room. Grace jumps up from the couch, a pair of jogging pants in one hand and a wet rag in the other. She doesn’t look much better than she did when I found her in the basement. I take the pants from her and give them to Emo. After he puts them on, I help him lay down on his stomach.
“Trouble should be here any minute,” Grace says quietly, kneeling down beside the couch. Carefully, she starts to clean his back. She doesn’t touch the abrasions, only cleaning the trails of blood they’ve caused.
A few minutes later, Trouble walks through the front door with Eden behind him. His eyes meet mine and I give him a clipped nod, silently letting him know he’s okay. For now, at least.
He walks straight over to the couch and drops his medical bag on the floor. Grace moves out of his way. The pulse in his temple throbs and pain flashes across his face when he sees the damage on Emo’s back. Wordlessly, he begins pulling items from his bag. He knows I’ve already laid into Emo and him adding to it won’t do a damn bit of good.
Eden’s voice trembles when she asks, “What happened to him?”
I wrap an arm around her waist and pull her to my side. “He’s going through some shit. Today hasn’t been a good day for him.”
“It looks like… he was beaten.”
I close my eyes and pull in a deep breath before replying. I keep my voice low. “When we were kids, he was forced to….” I try to find the right words. “touch Rella. He blames himself, even though he had no choice but to do what his father made him do. He punishes himself for it.”
She sucks in a ragged breath, and I drag her closer to me.
“Poor, Emo,” she whispers.
We both watch as Trouble cleans Emo’s wounds then lathers an ointment on them. Grace sits on the love seat, an unopened bottle of whiskey in her hand. As soon as Trouble is done, he helps Emo sit up and Grace walks over with the whiskey. Before she can hand it off to Emo, Trouble snatches it up, pops the lid off and guzzles several swallows. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and passes it to Emo, who tips it to his mouth.
Trouble grabs Emo by the back of the neck and pulls him toward him until their foreheads are touching. Emo closes his eyes as Trouble whispers something to him too low for us to hear. His eyes squeeze shut tightly and he nods at whatever Trouble says. I take a good look at Trouble. He looks like shit. Not as bad as Emo, because he manages to hide his grief better, but I know he’s in incredible pain as well.
The two break apart and Trouble gets to his feet.
“I’m gonna stay here for a while. There’s no reason for you two to stay.”
I nod. “Where’s Remi and Elijah? You need me to pick them up?”
“They’re with Judge at Mae’s house. They knew I’d be here a while, so he’s going to stay with them until I get back.”
Reaching out, I grip his shoulder. “You okay?”
Pain etches his face, but he answers with a drop of his chin.
“Call me if you need anything.” I turn to Emo. “You good?”
“Yes,” he grunts with the bottle at his lips. I’m just turning away to lead Eden to the door when Emo’s words stop me. “Thank you.”
There’s no fucking way I’m going to say you’re welcome for what he forced me to do to him, but I still acknowledge his thanks with a nod. I don’t blame Emo for what he puts himself through. Hell, I’d feel just as guilty had I been in his childhood shoes, but it still hurts knowing he feels he deserves to inflict pain upon himself.
I tip my head to Grace and she returns it with her own solemn nod. Eden and I are silent as we make our way to my truck. Today has been emotionally draining, and all I want to do is go home, crawl into bed, and get lost in Eden’s arms. After a quick stop, that’s exactly what I plan to do.
“Where are we going?” she asks when I point the truck in the opposite directions to my house.
“Prescription, remember?”