Whispered Prayers of a Girl

I give her a timid smile. “My head’s hurting a little, and a few minor aches, but I’ll be okay.”

“That’s good. You gave us a scare. Thank goodness you three were okay.”

“How are the people in the other car?” I ask.

It’s David that answers. He shakes his head, and I know the answer. A sharp pain stabs my chest at the loss of life.

“Her brakes went out in her car. Reports show she tried swerving to miss you, but she clipped the back corner of your truck.”

“How many people?” I croak.

“Just her.”

We all share a moment of solemn silence at the poor woman that lost her life. I s

end up a silent prayer for her family.

Helen looks at Alexander’s still hunched form, then back at the kids.

“Why don’t David and I take the munchkins down to the cafeteria for a snack?”

I know what she’s doing; giving Alexander and me a few minutes alone. I don’t want the kids away from me, but he and I need to talk, and I know they’ll be safe with his parents.

“You wanna go grab a snack with Alexander’s parents?” I ask them.

Daniel nods, but it takes Kelsey several seconds to agree. She doesn’t want to leave me.

“It’s okay. It’s only for a few minutes, then you can come right back up here.”

Finally, she nods, and Helen helps Kelsey down as David helps Daniel. I give the kids a smile before the four leave the room.

I look at Alexander as soon as the door whooshes closed behind them. He’s still bent over, but his head is now hanging, hiding my view of his face.

“Alexander,” I call.

He slowly lifts his head, and I suck in a sharp breath at the tortured look on his haggard face. And what makes the pain rapidly forming in my chest unbearable is I don’t know how to make the look go away. I don’t know what to say to reassure him that I’m okay besides telling him just that, but I don’t think that will suffice. I’m so damn scared that this will set our relationship back.

“I froze,” he croaks. I frown, not understanding what he’s saying. “When we pulled up, and I saw you in the flipped truck, I fucking froze.”

He drops his head again as if ashamed. My stomach drops, and I feel sick. I had no idea he was there. That he was the one to find us and had to practically relive the worst moment in his life. How cruel could fate be?

He lifts his head again and when he speaks next, his voice is raw.

“All I could see and hear was Clara and Rayne that night,” he says, confirming my fears. “It was like I was there again. I couldn’t do anything. I was fucking stuck, helpless once again. But then something changed. I saw you in Clara’s place and the pain from that was too much. I couldn’t take it. I couldn’t take losing you too. Seeing you there, dying in Clara’s place, snapped me out of it.”

He roughly runs his hands through his hair several times, then scrubs them down his face before he looks back at me. There’re tears leaking out of his eyes. I can’t stand to see the pain on his face or the space between us. I reach my hand out. As if he’s been waiting, he springs from his seat and sits as close to me as he can get on the bed. His hands cup either side of my face gently and he bends until his forehead meets the uninjured side of mine.

I keep my eyes on him and see him squeezing his closed. A single tear lands on my cheek. I lift my hands and mirror his. One side of his face feels prickly from his beard while the other side is more smooth from his scars.

“I’m fine,” I whisper. He keeps his eyes closed, but jerks his head once, acknowledging he heard me.

His eyes open and he lifts his head an inch away. After running his eyes all over my face, staying on the bandage on my forehead for several seconds, he drops his lips to mine. He keeps the kiss to a simple meeting of lips before pulling away.

“I can’t lose you, Gwen,” he tells me. His tone is sure, but still laced with vulnerability. “You or the kids. I can’t. I won’t make it a second time. I need you three too much.”

“Hey. We’re not going anywhere. We’re here and as long as you want us, that’s where we’ll always be.”

“Forever,” he says, no doubts or hesitation in his voice. “I want you three forever.”