“Abby,” Colt whispers, pain filling his tone. He reaches for me, but I hold my hand up. There’s something I need to say first.
“I love you.” The statement is simple, but there’s so much meaning behind it. “I’ve never said those words to another man before. I never thought I would be able to. I’ve always had the love of my family and friends, and I love them back, but I’ve always wanted the soul-deep love you only get from a man you were destined to be with from the time you were born. I want to deny your words, Colt.” I keep my hand up to forestall him from interrupting again. “But I want you more. I’m still scared shitless that I’ll let you down, but I’m so damn tired of fighting this. My fear of not ever seeing you again far outweighs my fear of failing.”
The hand not held up between us clenches so tightly in my lap, I worry my fingers may pop off at the joints. He grabs it, gives it a tug, and growls, “Get over here.”
I don’t know if it’s his tug, or if it’s my lunging myself at him, but seconds later, I’m in his lap with my legs wrapped tight around his waist. I bring my head down to slam my lips against his, needing to taste him, but he stops me right before they make contact. What I see in his eyes is fierce and unrestrained. Although his jaw is hard, and there’s a slight tick in his temple, neither is from anger. It’s from a ferocious need. The same need I’m feeling.
“I’m never ever letting you push me away again, Abby. You’re mine, and will forever be mine. No matter what happens, I’m never letting you go.”
He says no more, just closes the short distance between us and completely takes over my lips. There’s no need for him to force his tongue in my mouth because I’m already open to him, but even still, the tongue lashing he gives me is so intense, it steals my breath. My hands latch onto his hair and tug him impossibly closer. His arms lock around me, tugging me to him. There’s not a spare centimeter between our bodies. Our mouths fight for dominance as we give each other everything we have to give.
When we pull back, we keep each other as close as we can, not willing to be separated any more than we have to.
“I’ve missed you so fucking much, Abby.” His words come on a groan as he nibbles on my ear before making his way down my neck. “The only thing that’s kept me from going crazy is that I knew I would see you at night.”
That reminds me, there’s something I need to ask him. His mouth on my neck is highly distracting. It’s always been easy for him to knock me off track. I grip his hair and give a light tug so he pulls back. The desire in his beautiful pools of blue almost has me shoving his face back in my neck, but I manage to hold onto reason.
“When you say you came to me at night, did we have sex?”
A zing of awareness zips through my body at the memory of my dreams. They always felt so real when I woke up, especially how my body felt. I felt sated in a way that you just don’t feel from a mere dream. I remember waking up and thinking that if I didn’t know better, I would have sworn I had been taken. Now, in light of Colt’s revelation, I wonder if I actually was.
Colt’s hands on my back tighten, and the look he gives me tells me my suspicions are true. His features are filled with guilt. There’s no need for him to admit it, but he does so anyway. “Yes.”
I know I should be pissed at him. Essentially, he fucked me while I was asleep, even though I know a part of me had to have been aware of what was going on. There’s no way I could have stayed in a deep sleep. I should feel many things. Disgusted, used, angry, deceived, are just a few, but I don’t feel those things. It may be stupid of me, but what I feel is the total opposite. It makes me realize just how much he truly loves me. I know it couldn’t have been easy on him having sex with me, knowing I wasn’t conscious enough to stop him if I wanted to, but unable to stop himself because of the pain he knew I was in and wanting to take that pain away.
It may be totally twisted of me, but it also sends a rush of wetness to my center. Yes, I was in a vulnerable position and pushed him out of my life, but I wouldn’t have been able to turn him down, even if I wasn’t in pain. I could never turn him down. Even in a semi-sleep state, my body reacted to his. If it didn’t, I have no doubt he would have stopped on his own. But it did, and he made my body sing, leaving me feeling more sated than I thought possible in the mornings.
His face still holds uncertainty, like he’s unsure of how I feel about it all. I run my fingers through his hair until I reach the back of his head, then pull it back and crush his lips with mine again. He breathes a sigh of relief and groans deep, satisfied with my reaction.
He lays me back on the bed, his body following so he’s on top of me with him settled between my legs. We’re both naked, so his cock nestles along my center perfectly. I need to get up and get ready for work, but I’m not ready for this to end. I’ll never be ready. I want to stay like this forever.
He rocks his hips, sliding his dick along my opening, then curses in frustration.
“What are you…”
“You’ve got work,” he says, resting for forehead against mine.
“Shower with me, and kill two birds with one stone,” I suggest, lifting my hips. “I’m not ready to let you go yet.”
His answering smile has butterflies fluttering in my stomach.
“Lock your legs and arms around me.”
I do as he says, and with a push up, he lifts us both from the bed. I laugh and kiss along his shoulder as he turns the water on and waits for it to warm up.
“This is going to be fast. Not only because you have work, but because it’s been ten days since I’ve had you.”
“You had me just a few hours ago,” I remind him, lifting an eyebrow.
“Those times don’t count because you were mostly out of it. I want to look in your eyes and have you watch me take you.”
He steps in the shower, submerging us in the warm spray. With his hands gripping my ass, he lifts me, bringing me back down on his shaft in one fluid motion. My head drops back on a low moan, before I lift it again when I hear his deep growl of pleasure.
This is where we’re meant to be. Our relationship may have been originally built on sex. Sex will always be a big element between us, but it’s not what makes us perfect for each other. We’re perfect together because we fit. He’s the one man that’s meant to give me what I’ve always truly craved.
Love unconditionally, and without reserve.
Chapter Seventeen