“Don’t think of it that way. Think of it as earning a salary. Instead of paying for a nanny, I’d pay you.”
“Which would make you my employer.” Her cheeks flushed a dark pink. “No, thank you.”
“But you need an employer.”
“I have one. And it’s a job I like very much, too. I need help paying for a nanny, that’s all.”
“But that’s not all you need. You’ve made it clear that you want my family to be part of his life. You want us to ease some of the responsibility. So let us do that. Let me do that.”
She pushed the tray back and rose. “I can take him now. I’m finished.”
“No need. I have him. Why don’t you relax?”
Her jaw tensed. She tried to smile but it was strained. “I’m sure you have things to do, whereas I have nothing.”
“You could rest. Take a nap—”
“Can’t. I don’t really sleep anymore.” But she did sit down again, and her hands folded in her lap. She was still smiling, but the smile was brittle. He saw for the first time the tension at her mouth and the shadows under her eyes.
“Is Michael sleeping?” Gio asked.
“He still wakes up at least once each night.”
No wonder she was exhausted. “At what point do babies sleep through the night?”
“He should be able to sleep through the night now. I’m afraid it’s a habit he’s developed. He doesn’t drink much when he wakes up. He likes to socialize.” Her lips pressed into a line. “I’m trying to convince him that daytime is much better for play.”
“Perhaps I should hire a night nurse while you’re here—”
“No! Don’t do that. He’d be frightened. It’s hard enough not being in his own bed, in his own room. Having a stranger care for him would surely confuse him.”
“But what about you? Couldn’t you use a night of uninterrupted sleep?”
“Yes, but I would feel guilty, and then I wouldn’t sleep and it’d be a pointless exercise all the way around.”
Gio glanced down into Michael’s face and then at Rachel. “But if you hope to return to work, you need to get used to help. Soon you’ll be away from him for eight hours or more a day.”
He could see the misery in her eyes. She wasn’t happy about that, either.
Gio gave her a long thoughtful look. “I’m glad you’re here. It’s time I did my part.” He carefully eased the baby back into her arms. “We’ll discuss this tonight. Let’s meet for drinks in the library at seven. Signora Fabbro will stay with Michael.”
“Mrs. Fabbro?” she repeated.
He nodded once and walked out.
* * *
Heart pounding, Rachel watched Gio leave, her insides a jittery mess.
Everything was changing. She could feel it. Once again her life was being upended.
But before she could sort out why she felt so uneasy, Anna arrived with Rachel’s luggage. The maid wheeled in the large suitcase, and then removed the lunch tray.
Suddenly everything felt different—not just precarious, but overwhelming, and she didn’t even understand what was changing.
While Anna insisted on unpacking the suitcase, Rachel placed Michael in the crib, and then she didn’t know what to do with herself.
Jet lag didn’t help anxiety, and right now her anxiety was at an all-time high. Sleep would help. Sleep always helped, but instead she paced the luxurious suite on the fourth floor of the palazzo, a fist pressed to her mouth as she chewed mindlessly on a knuckle, trying to ease the sick, heavy panicked sensation filling her middle.
She understood why Giovanni wanted her in his family palace. Notoriously private, he was trying to limit the media’s access to Rachel and the baby. He was trying to protect his family name, and he wanted security and safeguards in place, but for her, it was suffocating. It was hard giving up her personal space, and she couldn’t help feeling as if she’d lost her independence and control. Control was important in this instance because she needed room to move and think.
Before lunch she would have said that she didn’t think Gio knew the first thing about babies, and she’d thought his coldness had been due to inexperience with small children, but when he’d taken Michael from her, he’d handled his nephew with an easy confidence and almost affection.
What if Giovanni wanted to do more than provide financial assistance? What if Gio wanted Michael to stay in Venice?
The thought turned her insides into ice. She wasn’t just accustomed to caring for Michael now, he was part of her. She loved him. She never used the words out loud, but she was his mother now. He was her son. If Giovanni challenged her for custody, Rachel would be in trouble. Juliet didn’t have a living will. There had been no instructions for Michael, nothing to indicate her preference for guardianship.