He paused before he replied, “I think it’s where I go when I travel quickly, as you saw after you left me stranded at the bar.” He winked before his expression became serious. “The place is hard to explain, it feels busy, but black.”
I tried to imagine such a place, yet came up blank. “Like there are lots of people there, but you can’t see anything?”
“Exactly.”
The place between life and death, blackness, but full of other ghosts—it seemed right. “Guess that makes sense. It’s as if you can manipulate yourself here, but in truth, you have no presence. Like how you appear to be lying with me now, but in fact you’re not—just floating.”
“The funny thing is my moves aren’t even action anymore, it’s more of a thought. Take driving in a car, for an example. I imagine myself sitting in the backseat of a car, then I end up there and will stay in the car while it’s moving.”
“Seriously?” I considered the idea of what he suggested, but I couldn’t wrap my living mind around it. “You don’t think—walk to the car and get in?”
“I only think I want to be in the car and stay in it, then somehow I do.”
“How’s that possible?”
“I think it’s because walking is natural for me to do, as it would be for other ghosts. It’s not something to think about because it’s ingrained into my mind. If I told myself to float up to the ceiling, I probably would.”
It pleased me he didn’t prove that point now; no need to vamp up the reality of his ghostly state. I preferred to live in my bubble of delusion. “Okay, well, it’s all a little strange, but I guess it’s kinda nice to know how it all works now.”
He arched an eyebrow. “Knowing and understanding doesn’t mean I miss being alive any less.”
“What’s to miss?” I smiled. “We seemed to do just fine without being able to touch each other.”
His gaze slid down to focus on my lips. “After something is taken away, you realize just how incredible the ability you had was.” He looked back up at my eyes. “It’s torture.”
“I understand that torture.” It’d been days of total and complete hell of my wanting him to touch me and not only on my mouth either.
He paused as he seemed to search for words. “Have you ever felt…this way…before?”
I knew what he meant, but I enjoyed seeing him stumble a little. For once, it hadn’t been me stammering all over the place. “Depends on what this way means?”
A slight blush rose to his cheeks and I found it utterly endearing. “How different it is with you.”
I played dumb. “How is this different?”
His expression looked tense as if his mind worked a million miles per second to explain himself better. He finally huffed. “Are you always this difficult?”
“Depends on what you think difficult is?” I grinned.
The hard lines on his face melted away when he chuckled deep, then his brow furrowed as he became thoughtful. “To explain better, you know my need of women has been…not lasting.”
I laughed. “Yes, I think I have figured that one out.”
“When I saw you the first time, the only way I can explain it is I didn’t want to leave you. I couldn’t walk away from you, even if I had wanted to, which I didn’t. Yes, at the beginning, I needed you to help me talk to Zach, but it became more than that. A connection I’d never once experienced before and that’s what drove me to get you to acknowledge my existence.”
My heart melted. I could’ve said those same words myself. “I think I know how you feel.”
“Do you?” he whispered.
I nodded, not wanting to go where my thoughts lingered, but he’d given me honesty, I owed him the same. “The night you were trying to get my attention…” My cheeks burned so hot. “Remember the night?”
“The night I seduced you.” He grinned seductively.
“Yes, well, after the little event, I went home and did what we did earlier. Yeah, I’d been so hot I did that…alone.”
“I know you did,” he said, unashamed.
I shot straight up in bed and glared at him. “Just how would you know that?”