“Agreed.” Gretchen sat next to me and the mattress didn’t even bounce within the solid wood frame. “It’s peculiar.”
“Especially if I had no clue I was doing it.” I settled into a comfy position on my back and pulled the thick blanket under my arms. While the thought of seeing Kipp made butterflies bounce in my belly, nerves lived there, too. I still didn’t know why he left. The last time he saw me I was kissing the jackass, Dane. Of course, now it made perfect sense why Dane went in that direction, to ensure Kipp would leave. Oh, how fooled I’d been, but not anymore.
My head was clear, my purpose even more so. Still, concerns rattled me. I wouldn’t dive in without having a sense of my own safety. I might love Kipp, but I wanted to love him alive, not dead. “Let’s say I haven’t done this before. Do you think I’m in any danger attempting to travel there?”
“Honestly...” Gretchen’s eyes sharpened, darkening the gray tones. “I don’t know. Like I told you, this is all new to me, too. Up until tonight, I’d never heard of Nettie or her abilities. In fact, until I met you, I hadn’t ever seen anything like this.” She sighed, glancing at the blanket and tracing the pattern before her gaze rose. “One thing I do know is you can’t stay there.”
“Whatever gave you that clue?” I snorted.
Gretchen shook her head slowly, taking my hand. “If you find Kipp, get the answers you need, and get out. If you are in REM sleep for too long, and I’ll tell by your eye movement, I’ll wake you up and force you out.”
The concern rushing along her features made my stomach flip-flop. “So, you are worried?”
She hesitated, drawing in a deep breath, and her eyes saddened. “I’m more worried you’ll find him, and if he doesn’t want to come back, neither will you.”
I could’ve retorted by saying I didn’t want to die, but the truth stared me in the face. What would I do if Kipp refused to come back? Could I leave him there in a place of loneliness and not stay with him?
As those horrific thoughts rushed through my mind, and so did the reminder that Kipp wasn’t dead. Here was my chance to get him back as a living-breathing-man so we could have a normal relationship. “I want him alive, Gretchen. I have no intention of dying tonight or staying in the Netherworld. I’ll come back. Promise.”
“Okay, make sure that you do.” After another squeeze of my hand, she released my fingers. “Wayde said you only needed to be more aware. Since it seems Nettie knew she was there it means on some level, even though you’re dreaming, you know what’s going on.”
While that might be slightly unbelievable, I also remembered the dream with Kipp and how real that felt when I’d woken. Perhaps I’d been much more aware than I knew. I couldn’t explain why the lovin’ had taken place in his bedroom and not some weird mystical world, but then again, I had no idea what the Netherworld looked like. “I’m guessing it’s not something I can control anyway. If I hold the ability, it’ll simply happen as it does with ghosts.”
Gretchen agreed with a nod. “From what we learned of Nettie, it appears a natural gift. As Wayde suggested, you might have been going there already, but just didn’t realize that’s where you were. After you woke, you accepted your experience as a dream, because it made sense to.”
Before, I never would’ve believed wholeheartedly in something I hadn’t seen with my own eyes and also seemed way out there, but Gretchen’s witchcraft had worked and it did so because I believed it. The power of belief had never held such a strong place in my mind as it did now. Besides, maybe Gretchen and Wayde were right—maybe I’d been blind to what I’d been experiencing. “You don’t have any handy-dandy spells to protect me while I’m there?”
She studied me for a long moment with her gaze, that seemed so much older than her years, and she finally shrugged. “I don’t know enough about this to know how to protect you and from what.” Her expression firmed, head tilted. “But I do know you need to keep a shield up against yourself, no matter how much you miss him. Your desire to stay with him could be your undoing. Remember, the power of one’s soul in any regard to the mystical world holds great strength.”
“Okay.” What else was I going to say? In truth, I wouldn’t lie to Gretchen and even I knew it would be difficult to see Kipp again. That was, if this actually worked, and after I tore a strip off him for the current hell I
went through to find him.
Sure, it hurt Kipp to watch me kiss Dane, but Kipp should’ve known better. Believed without a doubt I only loved him. But it was do or let him die. The latter wasn’t an option. “Sleep time, then?”
Gretchen smiled tightly before she left the bed to hit the light switch, bathing the room in darkness except for the bright light coming from the bathroom. I assumed she kept the light on to keep an eye on me and I watched her settle into the fancy chair in the corner of the room.
With a deep breath, I rolled onto my side, focusing on Kipp. I shoved all my excitement, worry, and adrenaline away, concentrating on relaxing. I fished through all my doubts of mystical travels and combed through my known reality to find a way to accept this.
Was the idea any different from my seeing ghosts in the first place? Not really. Could it be any less unbelievable my abilities held more strength than I knew or had been aware of? Possibly.
I’d never noticed a tingle on my flesh other than the goose bump feeling I experienced with ghosts, and I had to wonder if that’s what she meant. The more I thought of how I received the gifts I did, the more I realized I didn’t care to figure it out. If I needed to be open, feel everything I’d refused to, keep my mind clear from my typical skepticism, then that’s what I needed to do. If it brought me to Kipp, it didn’t matter how I got into the Netherworld, only that I did.
Truth be told, Wayde might think I held an interest to know about my gifts, but he was entirely wrong. I wanted Kipp. I needed, with a desperation piercing my heart, to see him again. If I had to accept all this as blatant truth, then I would.
That simple.
With the motivation to see my ghost holding strong, I allowed myself to touch on my mind in a way I hadn’t before. I didn’t ignore sensations and even paid more attention to them. I felt the usual ease of relaxation wash over me as I drew into sleep, but slowly, I noticed something…
Maybe now looking for it, it became obvious, but there was a sensation seeming far away. Exactly like Nettie explained, a tingle right there lingering in my soul. The same sensation I experienced when a ghost was near, or maybe what I felt right before and just hadn’t realized it. Almost like a spark of electricity coursing through my veins.
I zeroed in on that single sensation and my body warmed. Energy flowed like hot lava through my veins. I felt lighter, tingled all over, and was instantly flooded with a desperate need to grab onto that one sensation.
Yanking myself closer, I left any thought behind, surrounding myself with the spark drawing nearer, and the pulsating energy pulling me closer.
With an explosion like fireworks, but concentrated in my veins, I was dragged forward and sucked right into the sensation. A buzz surrounded me and filled my head with loud noise. The harsh sound was…felt…intense. It quaked against me, inside me, and all around me. My soul was hauled along a path with rapid speed, and I knew I travelled, but seemed to stay still at the same time.
When the buzzing ceased, a loud crash followed and then dead silence. Only a split second later, a flurry of heady coldness encased me and I tumbled into darkness.