The secret was out. Everyone now knew that which I’d hoped to keep to myself—Luca was amazing and was going to make something of himself. I moved toward the island, trying to make myself smaller than I already felt. In this world, the college keg party was not where I belonged. Luca was a chameleon, and he could change his colors with ease. I didn’t even want to try; I felt like an imposter. How could I convince anyone I wanted to be there if I couldn’t even convince myself?
As if I weren’t already having a great time, Madeline and her boobs showed up.
“Oh. Hi, Steph. How are you?” she asked in a sweet voice laced with venom. She wore a smile on her face, but her disdain was so strong it filled the whole room.
I smiled sweetly, trying to pretend her disapproval didn’t bother me at all. “Peachy, Maddy. I’m having a great time.” I stopped the conversation there, no polite question in return, no invitation to stay. I wanted Madeline as far away from me as possible. I knew what girls like her thought about girls like me. Step on them, crush them, and then kick them out of your way. Maddy thought I was vermin and couldn’t stand to see me be close to someone as cool as Luca.
“So, what’s up with you and Luca?” She took a sip from her cup, trying to act casual, when the need for the answer was obviously burning red hot on her tongue.
“He’s my best friend,” I stated matter-of-factly.
“Oh, so that’s it? You’re just friends? That’s what I thought. I’m sure you know there’s a long line of us sisters who wouldn’t mind being more than friends with him. He pushes everybody away though. Maybe he’s gay. Anyway, you could put in a good word for me, if it won’t kill you.” She grinned like a wolf.
I really didn’t want to relay any words for her, but I nodded regardless—mainly to get her to leave. I would have promised anything to just have her move along and get her boobs out of my face, to act like I didn’t exist again just like she did before she knew I had clout with the “it” boy on campus.
I felt a familiar arm wrap around my shoulder, and I relaxed instantly. I hadn’t known how tense I was until I felt Luca touch me. There was just something about having him near that made everything better—even a shitty kegger or an encounter with Maddy.
“Here’s your drink.”
He handed me the bottle and then turned to Madeline with a stern expression. The warmth that I usually counted on in his eyes had completely extinguished. His demeaner was hard. He ignored her as he grabbed me by the hand and pulled me out of the room. Once in the living room, we made our way toward the makeshift stage.
“The band is playing. I may have forgotten to mention that. Wanna sit on the side of the stage? It’s only a thirty-minute set.”
Luca really didn’t have to convince me to listen to him play. I loved hearing his voice. It was deep and harmonic and always calmed me and made me feel better.
When my mom died eight years ago, he would just hold me and sing to me until I fell asleep. Hours later, I’d wake only to realize he’d crawled out of my window and gone back to his house across the street. Luca was always there for me, no matter what. He took care of me and made sure I was never alone.
I sat on a stool at the side of the stage closest to him and made myself as comfortable as possible. As he picked up his guitar and adjusted the mic, he looked over at me and winked before he started playing. The first song was always one to hype up the crowd. He did a funky acoustic version of Outkast’s “Hey Ya!” He really knew how to get people going, engaging them and getting them to sing with him. I smiled at how he lit up the stage. It was definitely his calling in life, always had been. When the song finished, his bandmates Trevor and Lars joined him on the stage, with Lars picking up the bass as Trevor walked over to the synthesizer and started a beat. I recognized the song. It was one I’d danced to in my room, when I knew nobody could see me.
Luca started singing, and when he got to the line, “I’m in love with your body,” he made eye contact with me, and I felt everything inside myself heat until I thought I’d burst into flames. Luca knew I loved Ed Sheeran, but as he sang the song, it was like he was singing it just for me. “Shape of You” wasn’t exactly the kind of song you sang to your best friend, but throughout the entire song, his eyes were locked on mine with intention. All the girls pushed to get closer to him, raising their arms just to touch him, yet Luca paid them no attention. He continued to stare directly at me.