Loving Luca

“What’s going on, Luca?” I asked softly, afraid of his answer.

“Can’t a guy just have dinner with his best girl?” Luca asked in return.

I stood motionless, processing—at a loss for what to say or do.

“Sit.” He pulled out a chair for me, but I still didn’t move.

“Steph, just sit, please. This isn’t the Salem Witch Trial. I just knew you’d wanted to come here forever. I thought it’d be nice.”

The waitress walked up to us and set glasses of water and menus on the table. Luca pulled out my chair, and I sat down, dumbfounded.

“I’ll have the lasagna, and Steph will probably want the shrimp linguine. Can we start with a chopped salad and the stuffed mushrooms you guys are famous for?”

I was shocked at how Luca took charge and ordered like a boss. I guess we weren’t kids anymore, and tonight was nothing if not a reiteration of that point. Sure, we’d eaten at the food court, or our parents’ houses, or fast food. But fine dining in a romantic, secluded setting? It was a first, and it wasn’t to be taken lightly.

When the food arrived, we ate in silence, savoring the exquisite taste and aromatics of the artistic meal in front of us.

“You have to try this,” Luca said. He placed a forkful of his lasagna by my mouth.

I parted my lips and savored the piece of heaven he’d offered me. The food was better than I’d imagined it would be.

“That is dangerous. Want to try mine?”

“Feed me,” he said with a grin. When his full lips wrapped around my fork, I couldn’t help but wonder what those lips would feel like on mine. Sure, I’d admit, it wasn’t the first time I’d pictured kissing Luca, but it was the first time it’d felt realistic instead of some far-off teenage fantasy.

“Should we trade meals? Or do you want to just go ahead and start eating each other?”

I choked on my water and grabbed my napkin when some of it dribbled out my nose. “What the fuck, Luca?” I suddenly couldn’t eat another bite because the fire in my belly had replaced my appetite. I wanted him desperately, but I didn’t know how to break through the assigned roles we’d been playing our whole lives.

Luca spoke after what felt like an eternity. “I can’t handle this anymore. You’re impossible. You don’t make it easy on a guy, do you?”

He got up and moved away, leaving me sitting at the table by myself in shock. Luca, more so than anyone, always got a kick out of my antics. But tonight, he was aiming for something else, and he was right, I wasn’t making it any easier for him. I began to panic. He took off in huff, stranding me with a tableful of gourmet food. Luca had finally realized what a loser I was and was done with me. I’d been waiting for it, knowing it was going to happen. What a total fuckup I was in the romance department. I was angry at myself, angry at him. I hated him for making me feel the way I did. Why did I have to love him so much?

It couldn’t end like this. What a way for me to ruin a decade of the very best friendship.

Luca came back holding his guitar case right as I was about to run to the bathroom and ugly cry. Either that or jump into his arms and tell him how sorry I was and beg him not to abandon me.

He smiled at me. At least he wasn’t angry. As I opened my mouth to barrage him with excuses, he put his index finger to my lips and moved me back onto the chair.

Once I was seated and my desire to protest had died down slightly, he started playing a song. This one I knew well. It was my mother’s favorite, something I grew up listening to her sing. As he strummed the final words of “Can’t Help Falling in Love,” my face was drowning in tears. Then it dawned on me what was going on—I’d read enough young-adult romances to know what was happening.

“Oh my God, you’re dying?” I screamed, rushing toward him and wrapping my arms around his body. “You fucking fuck! Don’t die on me, Luca!” The tears had become full-blown waterworks.

“What?” He sounded shocked.

“Why else would you be singing me that? Her song? You better not fucking leave me!” I’d lost my mind and was screaming at my best friend for having cancer in a private room in a beautiful restaurant. I could feel the bile rising in my throat. I was going to be sick. I couldn’t lose Luca, too. I couldn’t.

“No, you lunatic. You are so goddamned oblivious, Steph. What do I have to do? Write it in the sky or tattoo it on my freaking forehead for you? You make me fucking work for everything, don’t you?” He smirked, staring at me right in the eyes. “Can’t a guy catch a break? I love you!”