Loving Luca

“Whaaa?”

I wasn’t sure if I’d heard him right. I couldn’t believe my own ears. He looked me in the eyes, making sure I could see he was serious and stop being so reactive.

“I’m in love with you, Steph.”

Fireworks detonated under my skin. Heat ran from my center, spilling molten fire down my limbs. I stayed frozen in place, feeling like I might combust on the spot.

Luca grabbed my face firmly and planted his lips on mine.

Dynamite. This kiss was an explosion of the tension that had been building for a lifetime.

I parted my mouth and let his tongue explore inside, not really sure what I was doing. But I didn’t give a shit either. Kissing Luca was my bucket list. Not just on my bucket list—it was the listIt was happening now, and I wasn’t going to back down, no matter how inexperienced I was.

He deepened the kiss, and I could feel my body go soft and pliant at his forceful yet gentle touch. He tasted like my childhood, my best friend, and the love of my life wrapped into one. Luca’s kiss was urgent and hungry, and I welcomed every single moment of it. When he finally stopped and pulled away, I couldn’t wait for the next one.

“Now that was definitely worth waiting for,” he said, smiling slowly at me.

“You should have done that years ago.”

“I would have if you didn’t make me so damn nervous.” He pulled me close and engulfed me in his arms. His words shocked me. How could your life-long best friend make you nervous?

“I love you too,” I murmured against his chest. “I’ve loved you from the moment I saw you, but in the last few years those feelings have changed. I never in a million years imagined you felt the same.”

“Steph, you don’t sing a girl to sleep every night for a year if you’re not in love with her. I figured you never caught on, so I thought maybe a grander gesture was needed.” He waved his hand around the room to indicate what tonight was all about.

I decided then and there, there would be no more holding back. I didn’t want to waste another minute hiding my feelings from Luca.

“My dad is on a trip and won’t be back until Monday. Do you…maybe want to spend the night?” I bit my lip nervously.

His eyebrows rose in surprise. “Stephanie Wilson, are you propositioning me?” His grin was infectious. “You know if I come over, I won’t be able to keep my hands off you.”

I must have looked nervous, because Luca laughed and punched me playfully in the shoulder. He left me only for a moment as he went to fetch the bill, but as soon as his back was turned, my insecurity piped up, telling me this couldn’t end well.

4

Stephanie

When we got to my house, Luca killed the ignition of his car and turned to look at me. He was quiet, but his eyes spoke volumes.

“I love you, but holy shit am I nervous,” he blurted out.

That floored me. I still couldn’t believe Luca Masterson was rattled. He never let anything bother him—Luca was the definition of cool, calm, and collected. But this was a big deal. We were redefining the boundaries in a relationship that had been the most stable in both our lives. It was terrifying because we both had so much to lose.

I love you.

We’d said it before, only in the context of platonic friendship. This felt monumental. We’d let the bird out of the cage and were waiting to see if it would fly. It was at once both freeing and paralyzing.

“I love you too, Luca. Let’s go inside before we both wimp out.”

Luca met me at my side of the car just as I was getting out. He grabbed my hand and led me to the house. Once inside, the panic inside me rose. I felt completely overwhelmed and unsure of what I was doing or if I should even go forward with what I was thinking of doing. It was probably the fastest way to destroy a beautiful friendship. Curiosity might kill the cat, and we’d be too ashamed to ever speak to one another again. I feared Luca was an experienced lover, while I knew nothing about sex. My personal knowledge consisted of what could be garnered from reading dozens of Cosmo articles.

Luca gently grabbed me by the shoulders and looked into my eyes sincerely.

“Just breathe, Steph. It’s just me and you. You are the only girl I’ve ever wanted. You’re not alone. I don’t know what I’m doing either. If we love each other, that’s all that matters. The rest will come naturally.”

What? Did that mean Luca was a virgin too? How was that even possible? I’d always been under the impression that boys in bands got all the action and then some.