I put some bubble bath in the water and drop my robe. Dimming the lights, I step in the hot water and hold my legs to my chest. My long hair falls to the front, and I play the day over again in my mind. I didn’t tell Cori about the way he held my hand because that’s mine to have. The way he smiled at me, the way he looked at me, and then the end when he whispered the two words to me. As I feel the hurt, the rejection, a single tear escapes, rolling down my cheek and falling into the water. I let myself have this moment, and then I make myself finally let go of my girl crush. It won’t be easy, but the walls will have to come up. I lean back now and sink into the water up to my chin and close my eyes. I stay in the bath until the hot water turns cold, and my fingers shrivel up. I get out and towel off, then put the robe on, and when I walk back out, Cori is lying on my bed. The door to my room is open and where the couch should be is a queen-size bed.
“I just ordered room service,” she says, and I nod. Going to the little kitchen they have in the room, I grab a water bottle, and then I hear the front door slam. I look toward the doorway and see Brian storming in.
“Hey,” he mumbles under his breath and doesn’t even look at me. “I need a shower,” he says, turning around and stomping into his bathroom. I look at Cori, who raises her eyebrows at me, and then I walk into the bedroom and climb into bed with her. I try to focus on the movie she is watching, but I can’t. Especially when he comes back out from the shower wearing shorts and nothing else.
“Holy mother of all things holy,” Cori mumbles from beside me. “I bet he has a small, crooked penis.”
I shake my head. “I don’t care.” I try not to think about his penis, and then the knock on the door has Cori getting up and Brian looking into the bedroom. I lock eyes with him, but he looks away. Cori comes back in with the huge tray. “I’m eating in bed,” I tell her, and she carries it into the bedroom. “Can you close the door please?” I ask softly, and she gets up and walks over to the door, closing it with the sound of the click. I sit in bed, eating little bites, and then slide under the covers, waking the next day.
Cori isn’t there when I get up, and I reach for my phone and then text her. I stay in my room with the door closed until it’s time for us to head out. I keep my head down when I walk out of the bedroom, but I feel him right away. From the side, I see him getting up and walking to me. “How long is the bus ride tonight?”
“Four hours,” she says softly. “I am going to cancel dinner with my folks so I can come on the bus with you.”
“No.” I shake my head. “Don’t. It’s fine.” She doesn’t argue with me. We make it to the venue, and the ride over is quiet as fuck. You could cut the tension in the car with a knife. “Can you get me a trainer? I’d love to go work out after.”
“On it,” Cori says and walks away from me when I take the step to the stage. I run through the playlist, saving my energy for the show. Stepping from the stage to the gym, I have no time to pay attention to him, but I know he’s there. The trainer pushes me a bit harder than I’m used to, but I like it. I wash off my face in the big bathroom, then go into one of the stalls.
“Did you see how hot that security detail is?” I hear a female voice and then the water turn on.
“Did I fucking ever.” The other voice I can tell is Stacey. I roll my eyes. “His name is Brian.”
I hear the other girl snicker laughing, and I try to pinpoint the voice, but I can’t. “Why am I not surprised that you know this already?” The water turns off, and then I hear the sound of the hand towel being distributed.
Stacey then laughs out. “Well, then I guess it will come as no surprise to you that I fucked him last night in the gym at the hotel.” My heart stops, my breathing comes in with pain. “Best workout I had, and the man is seriously packing.” I think I’m going to be sick. I put my hand to my mouth and try to keep it in.