I hold his gaze, nodding gently. “Yeah. I do, River. I really do.”
The smile that breaks over his face comes out in stages, and I register each one of them until I find myself grinning back at him, unable to contain it.
17
River insists on taking the couch and letting me have the bed, though I put up a lot of resistance. I already feel like a fucking charity case, moving from one house to another with nowhere else to go. If I took the couch, I’d at least feel like I was inconveniencing him a little bit less.
And okay, maybe a tiny part of me wishes he’d stop being such a damn gentleman and suggest we both take the bed. I’m having a hard time looking at him and not thinking about the kisses we shared in the pool last night, in what was inarguably one of the hottest moments of my life.
I pause in the middle of brushing my teeth as heat floods my lower belly, staring at myself in the mirror.
Jesus. I can still feel him. All of them.
Lincoln and I couldn’t get enough of each other last night. We wore each other out, and I’ve been pleasantly sore between my legs all day, but the intense feelings that sparked to life in that pool haven’t abated. It was like nothing I’d ever experienced.
Get it together, Low.
I finish brushing my teeth and splash cold water on my face, trying to banish the flush creeping up my cheeks.
When I step out of the bathroom, River is draping a blanket over the couch. He glances up at me and smiles softly, and I wonder if he feels as strange as I do.
I don’t feel awkward, exactly. I’ve been alone with River before. And we know each other pretty well by now—better than we should for how long we’ve been in each other’s lives, really. But it feels a little weird to be in his bedroom, in my pajamas, having just brushed my teeth in his bathroom. To see him in his soft white t-shirt and dark shorts. So… casual. So at home.
That’s what it is, I realize.
I’m in his home. In his living space.
And it feels sort of like we jumped ten spaces ahead on the board to get here.
Trying to act natural, I cross to the bed and pull back the covers, sliding in between the sheets. They’re soft, and they smell like River, and it makes something in my chest and my core throb at the same time.
River disappears into the bathroom for a few minutes—he let me go first, because of course he did—and I hear the water running as he brushes his teeth. When he returns, he flips the light switch on the wall to turn off the overheads, leaving only the bedside lamp to illuminate the room.
When he walks toward the bed, I swear my heart beats harder with every steps he takes.
“I’m just gonna steal one pillow, is that okay?” he asks in a quiet voice.
I nod and shift on the bed, allowing him to grab one of the pillows that are stacked neatly against the headboard. But before he can turn back toward the couch, I grab the end of the pillow and tug on it gently.
It’s not that I don’t want him to have it. Jesus, they’re his fucking pillows, he can have them all if he wants. But I don’t want him to go yet, and grabbing the pillow seems… safer than grabbing him.
He stops, turning to look down at me, his blue-gray eyes soft and enigmatic. “You okay?”
“Yeah.” I release the pillow, half sitting up in the bed. “Just… not very tired.”
He nods, still watching me intently. I’ve gotten so used to this from him that sometimes I can’t tell when he’s watching me to read my lips and when he’s watching me for other reasons. Right now, his gaze seems heavy with unspoken thoughts.
“Did Lincoln tell you anything else before he left?” I ask. “Does he have a plan for what to do about his dad?”
“No. But he’ll think of something. I trust him.” He sinks down onto the edge of the bed, angling his body to face me.
“How long have you guys all known each other?”
I really am curious, but I’m also just anxious to keep him talking, to keep creating reasons for him to stay right where he is instead of crossing back to the couch.
“A long time. Since we were kids. We were all born and raised in Fox Hill. We’ve been going to school together for years.”
I nod. “Yeah, I can see that. You guys all act like brothers, almost.”