“Why?” Miles and I asked at the same time.
“Rumor has it y’all are engaged.”
“Who told you that?” I asked, folding my arms over my chest.
“Well, everyone knows the two of you have always been stuck together like glue. It was bound to happen with you going out on all those dates.”
My eyes widened. “We’ve been on two dates. That’s it.”
“How does everyone know how many dates we’ve been on?” Miles asked.
I leaned in and said, “Small town, remember?”
He sighed.
Mrs. Whitaker let her eyes drift down to my stomach, then over to Miles. “Folks seen your momma talking to Preacher Harris, Miles. She was overheard talking about something being rushed.”
I jerked my head to look at Miles, but his face was void of all emotions.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Mrs. Whitaker,” Miles finally said. “And what my momma is talking to the preacher about ought to be kept private. Wouldn’t you agree that the Good Lord would want it that way?”
I swung my gaze back to Mrs. Whitaker.
She waved him off like she had done to me moments earlier. “Come on, kids. I’m hip with the times. I know how y’all are now. How y’all do things and all.”
I frowned. “How we are? What does that even mean?”
Looking around the store, she leaned in closer, causing Miles and me to do to the same. “I know kids in your generation have the sexual intercourse before the wedding vows. If you didn’t wrap it before you tapped it, accidents happen, and it’s still a small town. News is bound to come out in a matter of time.”
I nearly fell on my ass as I jumped away from the woman. Miles, on the other hand, seemed to sway a little as he covered his mouth. Neither one of us were prepared for the shock of hearing a seventy-year-old woman refer to sex as tapping it or mentioning a condom for said tapping. After all, this was the woman who taught us in Sunday school when we were ten years old.
“Did I hear you say…” Miles’s voice trailed off.
Clearing my throat, I said, “Mrs. Whitaker, let me clear up something right now. I am not pregnant. You actually have to have sex to get pregnant.”
“And there has been no tapping with us. Well, not in the last five years, anyway.”
“Miles!” I shouted as I hit him on the chest. “Not helping!”
The bastard actually winked before focusing back on Mrs. Whitaker. “Sorry, sorry. Mrs. Whitaker, as you can imagine, Kynslee and I have some catching up to do. Yes, we’re dating, but let me also say that there is no bun in the oven.”
I tried not to show how much his declaration that we were dating shocked me—and made me feel slightly giddy, which pissed me off. Again. This was becoming a normal cycle with me. Just like my period, my emotions were like clockwork. See Miles. Get horny. Miles opens his mouth, get mad. Miles does something sweet, swoon. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.
“Well, we all know how heartbroken Kynslee was when you left to join the Marines. Then her attempt at moving on with Jack didn’t work. So here we are now.”
I nearly choked on my own tongue.
“Excuse me, I was not heartbroken, and I simply did not want to marry Jack. We broke up. Why is that so hard for everyone to believe?”
The old woman tilted her head and slowly shook it. “Because you were still in love with Miles. Jack told his momma you had never truly given yourself to him. That the ghost of another man haunted your soul and refused to let you find happiness. Whispers around town said it caused problems in the bedroom.”
“What in the living fuck?” I mumbled as Miles made a strange sound while attempting not to laugh.
“I haunted your soul, huh? Ghost in the bedroom, was I?” Miles smirked.
Glaring at him, I forced a smile. It was time to get this woman out of here and on her way with the correct information.
“A true southern belle does not curse like that, Kynslee. No wonder you’re still single.”
“She has quite the potty mouth, hasn’t she?” Miles interjected.
I laughed in frustration. “Now I’m single because I curse? Seconds ago it was because I was madly in love with Miles, and before that we were on the way to walking down the aisle with a bun in the oven. So which is it? Inquiring minds want the truth.”
“And you couldn’t move on since I was haunting your soul. Don’t forget that one,” Miles added.
“Shut up!” I balled my fists. “My soul has never been haunted, I was not heartbroken when you left, and Jack and I simply were not a match, that’s it. I’m not pregnant, and I am most certainly not getting married anytime soon!”
Mrs. Whitaker shook her head in disappointment. “Well, this is a letdown.” She spun on her low black heels and headed to the door as she called out, “I’ll be back in tomorrow to check on that honey!”