He looked straight ahead and nodded, as if saying something to himself. “I believe you are struggling with something, Athanasios.”
I never knew how he did it, but my father always knew when something was bothering one of his sons. He saw it in me after Savannah died, and when he told me to find myself again, he didn’t mean run off to Texas. I knew he was upset I left my job and went to work on the oil rig. But he never told me so. I saw it in his eyes though.
“Nah, I’m just tired. Work’s been busy.”
He slowly nodded. “You feel as if you are betraying her. Is that it?”
Pinching my eyebrows together, I asked, “Who?”
His eyes flicked up to meet mine.
“You know who . . . don’t skirt around it. You’re interested in this girl. Maybe this is the first girl who has sparked something inside you, huh? That makes you feel guilty.”
I let out a laugh. “Kilyn? Dad, please. I don’t even know the girl, and just because Mama’s friend saw me talking to her means nothing. I ran into her and said hello.”
“Have you been with a woman since Savannah? Sexually?”
My mouth fell open. My father was not asking me this. Squeezing my eyes shut, I cleared my throat and looked away. I knew if I avoided his question or tried to change the subject, he was not going to give up. “Yes, I have been with other women since Savannah. None of them meant anything. None of them ever will. I loved Savannah and no one will ever make me feel the way she did.”
He gave me a regarded look and stood up as he looked out over the mountains.
“Then ask yourself something, son. Why do you stand out here with such a conflicted look on your face if your heart is not arguing with your mind?”
Opening my mouth to say something, I snapped it shut.
“Life moves on, Athanasios.”
“I wish it could for me.”
With a sad look on his face, he looked into my eyes. “It could . . . if you let her go.”
My eyes stung with the threat of tears. “I can’t. I want one more day to tell her I love her. To show her no one could ever love me like she could.” My voice cracked and I sucked in a breath. “I want to hold her in my arms one more time.”
“YOU SAW HIM again and you’re telling me that’s not a sign?” Claire asked as she followed me into the elevators.
Sighing, I closed my eyes. “I’m not interested, Claire.”
Grabbing my arm, she turned me to face her. Her eyes looked so sad and I knew what was about to come. “Kilyn, when are you going to let go of the past and move on?”
My lip trembled as the memories rushed through my mind. Pushing them out, I stood taller. “I’ve moved on, Claire. Just because I don’t like to talk about it doesn’t mean I haven’t moved on.”
She shook her head. “Then why won’t you open your heart? Why?”
With a forced smile, I said, “I have a black heart.”
My phone buzzed, saving me from any more of Claire’s questions. Reaching into my purse and pulling out my phone, I smiled when I saw his name.
“Cody,” I said as I lifted my eyebrow. Claire made a gagging sound and looked away. Cody had been the only constant in my world, or as Claire would say, he was my fuck buddy.
“Hey sweet thing. You down for some dancing?”
“Dancing? Tonight?”
“Hell yes! You in?”
With a smirk, I replied, “Count me in. How about I meet you there?”
“Smartest thing you’ve said all day,” Claire mumbled.
I reached over and hit her on the shoulder.
“Sounds good. And Kilyn, don’t wear panties.”
My smile grew bigger. This was what I needed, I was sure of it.
“Oh, I’m sure I can arrange that. See ya tonight.”
Hitting End, I dropped my phone back into my overly-expensive periwinkle Dooney and Bourke purse. The only reason I bought it was because I loved the color.
“Please tell me you’re not going to have sex with him.”
The doors to the elevator finally opened on the twenty-first floor. Glancing over my shoulder at Claire, I winked and said, “That’s exactly what I intend on doing.”
“Oh gawd! What do you see in him?”
“Nothing. That’s what makes it work, Claire. He wants nothing from me but a fun night out. Same goes for me.”
Walking up to the receptionist’s desk, I flashed a bright smile and said, “Kilyn O’Kelly and Claire Paige here for our one o’clock appointment.”
The young blonde nodded and replied, “I’ll let Mr. Conner know you’re here.”
“Thank you!”
I knew I was being a tad over the top, but for some reason knowing I was going to relieve this insane need for an orgasm tonight had me flying high.