“What’s so funny?” Holly asked, pausing as she unloaded one of the bags.
I shook my head. “Nothin’, I’ve just never done this before. Normally I consider myself allergic to shopping.”
“Allergic,” she repeated, with a raised brow in my direction.
“Seriously. You should see me. I’m like a ninja at the grocery store.”
She laughed as she shook her head, and the tinkling, melodic sound rolled over me. We were standing side by side at the couch, close enough for our arms to brush. I stuffed my hands in my pockets to resist reaching for her. Our eyes met and she shied away, abandoning her bags and crossing the living room back to the kitchen.
“Speaking of groceries,” she started, tucking her hair behind her ears, before reaching for the refrigerator handles. She swept the doors open and peered inside, her eyes ticking off the contents like she was taking inventory. “I could whip up something really quick. Do you like shrimp scampi?”
“Sure,” I answered, my eyes roving down the back of her long, toned legs that peeked out from under her denim shorts. “Can I help?”
She pulled a package from the fridge and closed the doors. “Uhm, sure. Do you know how to zest a lemon?”
“I can try.”
I rolled up my sleeves, cuffing them at the elbows, as I joined her at the counter. She rattled off the instructions as she whizzed through the creation of the dish, and I did my best to keep up. If grocery shopping was at the bottom of my list of favorite things to do, cooking was right behind it. But I sucked it up and did my best to help, which mostly involved keeping out of her way.
When the meal was ready, we sat at the table, and Holly lit some of the candles she’d just purchased, the soft sandalwood filling the room with a warm, intoxicating scent.
“So, you said something, earlier, about not doing the whole shopping thing,” Holly started, after we’d savored the first few bites and exchanged compliments on the result of our combined efforts. “I don’t mean to pry…but didn’t your past girlfriends ever drag you out shopping? It just seems like an obligatory boyfriend thing.”
I smiled. “Probably so. The short answer would be that I’ve never really been with anyone long enough to establish obligatory boyfriend things.”
“And the long answer?”
I cleared my throat. “My longest relationship ended just before the one-year mark. And most of that year was spent long distance. Emails, calls, Face App chats.”
Holly nodded, her eyes narrowing thoughtfully. “Why did it end?”
“She cheated on me when I was deployed. Not that I blame her, I certainly wasn’t available to give her what she needed.”
“Cheating is never your fault, Jack. Or, at least, so I’ve been told.” She sipped her wine. “Repeatedly.”
I arched a brow at her, the weight of her statement sinking in with a dull ache in my chest. “Your ex-husband?”
She nodded slowly, looking to the left of me, her eyes not fixed on anything in particular. “Yeah. So, anyway, I don’t know why she cheated on you or why my ex cheated on me, but I know that it doesn’t do you any good to blame yourself. Not that hearing that really makes it any easier.”
Her hands rested on the table, her fingertips clinging to the curved edge. “I’m sorry, Holly.”
She shook her head, doing her best to put on a brave face, but when her eyes blinked and refocused on me, a tear glistened on her cheek, sparkling in the candlelight. She cursed under her breath and smoothed it away.
I got up from my seat and rounded the table, reaching for her hand. “You wanna go get some air?”
She didn’t answer, but she took my hand and let me lead her out the back door. I left Princess and Hunter behind with a hand signal at Princess to keep her from bounding out after us and closed the door. Holly had already walked ahead a few paces and stood with her back toward me, looking up into the night sky.
“I’m sorry, Jack,” she said when I joined her. “I didn’t mean to have a meltdown like that.”
“Hey, you don’t have anything to be sorry for,” I said firmly.
She broke away and looked down the beach. “Do you want to walk with me for a little bit?”
I started to reach for her hand, wanting that to be my answer but stopped myself short. “Sure.”
We walked together, for several minutes, with only the sound of the waves and our footsteps in the sand. My mind tossed through things to say, but every idea was rejected before it could reach my lips.
I had no idea what Holly was thinking or feeling and didn’t want to say or do anything to make her uncomfortable. In the back of my mind, I knew this wouldn't work. We’d spend some time together, get to know each other , but the timetable was all wrong, and no matter how much we had in common, or how easy going it felt to be with her, it wasn’t enough to change the outcome. I was leaving.