“What do you mean?” Domm’s as confused as I am by this abrupt change in topic.
“When we…they…die.” She keeps her eyes on one distant star that’s brighter than the rest. Alpha-8. It’s the heart of the Acria constellation.
I answer. “It’s not something Zandians think about. We focus on life, making that strong and powerful.”
“But you must have thought about it at least once.” She continues to stare into the night sky. “What do you teach the young?”
“We don’t…teach that at all.” Domm sounds curious. “Why do you ask?”
“So you just flash into nothing when you die?”
“When life is over, other Zandians carry on into the future.”
“Do you think we go somewhere else?” she asks.
“Where else could a being go?” I touch her arm, wishing I could get into that beautiful head and decode her thoughts. “Why are you asking this?”
“Some planets, some species, have…deities.”
Domm nods. “So they do.”
She touches her necklace, one she never removes. It has significance, but she hasn’t shared what. Another secret she keeps from us. “Do Zandians?”
“No. We honor our crystal, which represents the power of nature’s life-giving force and energy, but that’s all,” I explain.
“Well, maybe you should get some.” She sniffs. “When you lose someone so important, how can they just disappear?”
“Who did you lose, little warrior?” I ask softly.
She shakes her head.
I draw in a breath. She’s searching for something here—existential meaning. I’ve never been one to philosophize, but I sure as veck want to give her something to hold onto. “As long as you remember them, they’re not entirely gone. Their message and teaching can live on.”
“Would you agree that without that memory, that drive to help carry forward, that your life is somewhat meaningless?” she asks.
“I suppose I would.”
“Because for you to proceed as a species, as Zandians, you need to honor your past and burn to carry your knowledge and existence forward. And without that, you’d be incapable of fully contributing to your society.”
“Exactly,” Domm agrees.
“Then why do you deny me the chance to fulfill that need in myself?” She looks to Domm, hope pouring into her expression. “I need that, too. What I need, the information and knowledge I need about my past, is back on Jesel. If you want me to really be part of this society, to give it my entire heart, you need to let me have my past back, too.”
Domm releases her hand and rubs his face. “It’s not something we can grant. It’s against our orders, which means, it’s against yours, too.”
She stands abruptly, fingers curled into fists. “Right.” She spins on that tight word and goes inside, leaving us to the gash of space, the hulking loss of her presence.
I close my eyes, because I know we just vecked everything up.
Our little warrior needs to leave.
Sooner or later, we’ll have to let her.
Chapter 16
Domm
* * *