Information. Rad and I both work better and think clearer when we have the full story. I have time to get that this week before presenting the predicament so we can work together to find the solution.
Seeing the trust in Rad’s eyes has me lifting on my toes again and kissing him. The stronger feelings blooming inside have made me more sentimental lately. I’m just unsure when to share them. When is the right time to say I love you?
I spin in his arms, keeping him wrapped around me. With my phone still in my hand, I ask, “Would you like me to call Marlow and settle this other man issue?”
“Today was enough for both of us.”
His tone—exhausted with a clip to it—has me looking over my shoulder. Then I turn back altogether. “Everything okay?”
“It’s quite a story. Want to order dinner first?”
Two hours later, I’ve heard everything, and we even had time to celebrate what the partners said. I don’t like the pretend stuff with Marlow and hearing how it extends to the wedding, but at least he’s not hiding any details.
And, truth be told, I feel like an equal. The more time I spend with Rad, the more it’s clear how wrong Steve was for me. Any boyfriend before Rad really. And I love this part of each day. Sitting down and chatting about our days. I never felt lonely living alone, but this is so much better. “So what does that mean for us telling friends and family?”
He goes into the kitchen with this takeout container and throws it away in the recycling. “It means you tell me.”
Thinking long and hard about this, I find there’s still so much going on. “Do we tell our friends at the reception?” I want to dance with you and kiss you. Weddings are so romantic, but . . . Bob will be there. How does that work for us?”
Though I feel I should see the debate that always wars in his eyes when we bring up this topic, nothing but calm lies in them tonight. “I’ll end it before then.”
“I hate that you’re in this spot and would never want to jeopardize your dreams.” I move into his strong arms once again and close my eyes. I don’t know if what I’m doing is right or wrong, but I guess I’m agreeing to this craziness. “We can play it by ear and aim for the reception. If you and Marlow aren’t settled by then, we wait a few more days.”
“You’re okay with that?” Bending his head down, he looks into my eyes. “Are you sure?”
Smiling, I reply, “What’s another two weeks in the scheme of things?”
~ Twelve Days Later ~
Jackson loads my suitcase into the back of the SUV and then comes to stand right next to me . . . and Rad, leaving no room or privacy to say or do what we really want. He asks, “Ready to roll? The Hamptons await.”
Rad stares at me like he might miss something if his gaze deviates, so I turn to Jackson. “I’ll be right there.”
Crossing his arms over his chest, Jackson says, “I can wait.”
“Wait in the car, St. James,” Rad snaps. Rad’s tone strikes harshly, surprising both Jackson and me.
Jackson side-eyes him. “Can’t say I’m upset you’re not riding with us, Wellington. Glad you’re staying behind in Manhattan for the night. Wouldn’t want to be stuck with you and that mood you’re wearing like a chip on your shoulder for the next few hours.” He returns to the vehicle, opening the back door before passing Marlow tucked in the passenger’s seat.
I look at Rad and reach to touch his chest. “It’s okay, Rad. He doesn’t know why you’re upset, and it’s not his fault anyway. So don’t take it out on him.” I lower my hand, remembering that we’re still a secret. No PDA allowed.
“It’s not normal not to be able to say goodbye to my girlfriend.”
I love hearing him call me his girlfriend. We’re not in situations that warrant introductions, but when he calls me his girlfriend, even in private, I realize how far he’s come. Once a proud eternal bachelor turned loyal boyfriend, I don’t take a day with him for granted. “I wish you didn’t have court tomorrow.”
“Don’t worry. I’m packed and will leave as soon as I get home.”
We’re supposed to be two friends saying a simple goodbye, but like him, I feel the weight of what we really are. Hiding it means that I don’t get to hug him or touch his chest when we’re talking. It means no kissing, and all that adds up to is missing him before I’ve even left.
Marlow rolls down her window and pokes her head out. “Kiss goodbye already, and let’s get on the road.” Her laughter trails across the sidewalk.