I hadn’t said the words because I just couldn’t. The moment I did, I felt like it was solidifying my pain and my future. I’d never be able to have Sian, nor would she belong to us.
I guessed I was well and truly fucked up. Most men couldn’t stand their woman being touched by another man, but I wanted to share her with my friends. Dante, William, and Mateo were the only ones I trusted with her.
“We all did,” William said.
In the last ten months, he’d lost all parts of his playfulness. Gone was the jokester. He was serious all the fucking time. I hated this.
“How did you let him get away with this?” I asked, turning toward my dad. “How could you not see what he was like?”
“None of us did, and we were given rules,” he said.
“Fuck the rules. Haven’t you seen how the rules play out? Joan is gone. He’s got her, and from what Sian tells us, he’s been hurting them for years.”
“Son, I suggest you step outside and take some air before I forget you’re my son.”
This made me laugh. “Your son I may be, but it’s with the wrong woman, right? Kind of a shock that you’ve got four daughters as well.”
The hit was expected. I wanted it. The blow to the face made it easier. The pain was a new focal point. I could think a little more clearly. I expected my dad to hit me again, but Harrison had stepped in and held him back.
Dante helped me to my feet, and within seconds, I was out in the garden. Blood came from my mouth, and I spat it on the ground.
“Get the fuck off me.” I shoved Dante off.
“So this is how it’s going to be? Are you trying to fuck everything up?” Dante asked.
“Why are we even talking with them?” I asked, whirling around. William and Mateo had joined us outside.
None of my friends looked happy. “What? You got shit you want to say to me?”
“This isn’t about you,” William said.
“I didn’t say it was.”
“You’re hurting,” Mateo said.
“Fuck you.” I wanted them to hit me. The pain my dad had inflicted had been a welcome relief. I stared at each of my friends. “None of you felt her. The tightness of her pussy, how it popped under my stiff cock.”
Dante sighed. “And here comes the prick. It’s always about you, isn’t it, Gideon?”
“In case you didn’t see, I’m the leader of the pack.”
I saw their hands clench into fists, but none of them attacked me.
Fucking bastards.
They knew me well and were refusing to give me what I wanted.
“None of you will know how good it felt for her to come for me,” I said.
Dante ran a hand down his face. “Go on. If this is what you want. Keep on saying the words that are going to guarantee our friendship is over. We’ll still be tightly bound together, but with a little help, maybe you can fuck it up completely.”
It was on the tip of my tongue to say more, but I just couldn’t. I had to hold back. Did I want to lose them as friends? They were my brothers. I loved them and would die for them.
Silence rang out loud and clear.
After falling to the ground, I drew my knees up against my chest with a sigh.
“I miss her,” I said. “There’s nothing I can do to bring her back, and that’s all I want to do.”
“You’re not alone,” William said, sliding down to the ground. He crossed his legs, hands resting on his thighs. Mateo was next and then Dante.
I stared at my friends. They hadn’t left, and I was so happy about that.
“We all miss her,” Mateo said.
“None of us wanted her to feel any kind of pain,” William said.
“We’re all here.”
“I promised her.” I looked at each of them in turn. “I told her that we’d take care of Heather and we … how did this happen?”
“Fred is willing to look into it,” Mateo said.
Fred had gotten out of the hospital but had continued to do his classes at home. His father refused to send him back to school. Since graduation, I hadn’t been back either.
The school had been impenetrable. It was why I knew I could help Heather. I needed to find out who was responsible for all this shit and make them pay.
I hated the not knowing.
I didn’t know how my dad or his friends were coping. Joan was gone. No sign of her. At least Sian was close by.
“I don’t think we should bring anyone else into this,” William said. “He already got beat up pretty bad.”
“Yeah, but we need to do this. If we knew who set the fire and cut our woman’s hair, then we can allow everything else to fall into place,” Mateo said. “Fred came to me after he heard what happened. He wanted to do something to help.”