Running my fingers through my hair, I watched people as they milled around. My dad had already taken me to the side and said The Society wanted us to go to college, to get back to our lives, sooner rather than later. We had a week.
That was it.
A week.
Sian had to make a final decision by then.
I didn’t know if she was even aware of the life-changing decision she had to make.
Gideon and William had now told us that they’d expressed their feelings toward her. I didn’t know what to do. I had no doubt our parents already knew they’d broken the rules, but what could I do or say to make it right?
Bouncing my knee up and down, I wondered if I could tell Sian how I felt. I wanted to more than anything. I wanted her to know that I loved her, that I saw this working in its own messed-up glory. I didn’t care what the world thought. They could go and suck my dick for all I cared.
Sian was the only person who mattered. I loved her and I loved my friends. I’d die for all of them, willingly.
Checking the time, I saw Sian has been in the salon for close to two hours. She finally stood up, went to the payment desk, paid, and then left the shop.
Her hair was cut at shoulder level but got shorter as it curved around her face. She looked beautiful.
She came toward me. “How do I look?”
I cupped her face and kissed her. “Beautiful.”
She smiled and tucked a couple of strands behind her ear. “Do we have to go straight back?” she asked.
“No. We can stay here for as long as you want,” I said.
There was nothing waiting for us when we got home—other than a whole load of decisions that, to be honest, could wait. I didn’t want to make them and the longer we took, the less I had to think about them.
It sounded crazy, but it made sense to me.
“I’m thinking lunch?” she asked.
I offered her my arm as we walked through the mall, heading toward the food court. We didn’t say anything to each other, and I couldn’t help but glance at her. There was a smile on her lips.
Did she know the deadline?
We arrived at the food court, and Sian went for a vegan veggie burger. I decided on the same and this made her laugh, but she wouldn’t tell me why.
We found a private table. The mall wasn’t so busy, so the noise wasn’t too bad. The moment I took a bite out of my burger, I knew why she laughed.
“Do you like it?” Sian asked.
“They go a little overkill on the garlic, but no problem.” I didn’t mind garlic.
This made me smile as she chuckled.
Eating our burgers and fries, neither of us spoke. People came and went. I had so much I wanted to say to her and yet, I said nothing. Licking my lips, I glanced around the food court.
“I have feelings for all four of you,” Sian said.
This drew my attention back to her.
“I … I know that I don’t have a lot of time left. Lucas told me I had until the end of the week to make a decision as to if I leave or if I stay.”
My heart raced.
What should I say?
How did I let her know how I felt?
“I know we’ve always been a little distant,” I said. “My mind has been focused on other things and I haven’t been able to devote the kind of time to us that others have.”
Sian reached across the table and put her hand on mine. “I have feelings for you as well, Mateo. I love—” She stopped, tears in her eyes. “I love you all in a way and it scares me. Everyone I have ever loved has ended up dead and this … I don’t want any of you to die. Not at all.” She glanced around the food court and then swiped at her cheeks to stop the tears from falling.
No one had ever told me they loved me with actual meaning.
Looking at Sian, I totally got it. Drew, Heather, her mother, even her father, two had died, one had been drugged most of her life, and the other had hurt her in so many ways. Love, to Sian, equaled pain.
Locking our fingers together, I held Sian’s hand. “I’m not going to die,” I said. “I’m not going to go anywhere but where you want me to go. If you need me to, I will turn my back on The Society for you.”
She shook her head. “No. You cannot do that. If what they say is true, they will punish you.”
“I can’t ask you to stay with us and be part of The Society. You didn’t want it and your mother didn’t want it for you.”