Abruptly, Ashford's words sank in, and Noelle's insides twisted with realization.
When he walked out that door tonight, it wasn't just to seek out his contacts and get information on Lady Mannering's earrings. Whatever job he was referring to was far more critical than that. It was an obligation meant to resolve the last filaments of his conflict, to put to bed his reservations.
To satisfy the commitment he'd made, fulfill the confidence he'd kept.
In short, to make peace with himself.
And Noelle's instincts told her that whatever was required to attain that peace, whatever Ashford had planned for tonight, it was dangerous.
A terrifying premonition gripped her heart.
God, no, she thought wildly. We're only just discovering each other. If anything should happen to him…
Reflexively, she clutched his forearm. "Ashford, wait. Where exactly are you going?"
He covered her hand with his, gave her an odd, penetrating look. "This part is my responsibility, Noelle. It's tied to an uglier world, one I don't want you involved with in any way—not even so much as to know my destination."
"Until after you've returned," she qualified, her mind racing to find ways to convince him—and her father—to let her go, too.
"No. Not even then."
Noelle's thoughts came to a screeching halt as Ashford's terse refusal dashed over her like a bucket of ice water.
"Not even afterwards?" she repeated, gaping up at him, stunned and unable to believe her ears.
"No," he replied, his tone and expression rigid.
A current of communication ran between them.
Slowly, Noelle sucked in her breath, recognizing the true meaning of Ashford's adamant declaration.
He wasn't talking about shielding her from the seedy side of London, from his chats with fences and unsavory pawnshop owners. He was talking about shutting her out of his secret, that part of his past he was on the verge of putting to rest.
The wretched man never intended to tell her the truth, even after it was resolved.
Well, damn him, that was not the way it was going to be. He was not going to put his life at risk and not share the reasons why with her. Not before, and not after.
"Noelle, Lord Tremlett is right," her father was saying, aware of the tension permeating the room, though oblivious to its true cause and to the tornado brewing inside his daughter. "There's no need for you to hear the sordid details. Let the earl carry things out in his own way. He is, as he says, accustomed to doing so."
"Oh, I know he is." Noelle struggled to keep her voice serene and to render her expression merely concerned, a bit challenging, but nothing more—so that Ashford, insightful man that he was, wouldn't suspect anything.
Her will must have been tremendous, because this time she succeeded.
"I have to leave, Noelle," Ashford murmured, his gaze caressing her as he brought her fingers to his lips. "Go have dinner with your family. I'll be by tomorrow, as quickly as I can."
Noelle forced herself to nod, looking suitably disappointed and customarily annoyed at being thwarted in her efforts. "Very well," she agreed with the right touch of reluctance. "It appears I have no choice. I'm outnumbered."
"We'll talk tomorrow," Ashford vowed, a fierce light in his eyes. "I promise." Then he turned and took his leave.
Raising her chin, Noelle gazed after him
.
You're wrong, Ashford, she informed him silently. We'll talk tonight.
* * *
Chapter 14