She felt as though her heart would explode out of her chest. She clutched her middle, a shiver running through her. “Don’t do this. I—”
He reached up, his thumb moved over her mouth, silencing her. “I couldn’t let you go on believing that what I wanted between us, the casual thing...that it had to be that way because it was you,” he said, his words harsh and tense. “You should give yourself more credit, Liv. And that’s just not when it comes to your career.” The tenderness in his gaze undid her. “You deserve the best any man can give.”
Olivia trembled at the impact of his words, a river of dizzy joy flushing her from within. Her legs folded under her, her heart bursting into speed. “Then why?”
“Isn’t it enough that I’m saying it, Liv?” He turned away from her. “You’re the most resilient, most courageous woman I’ve ever met.”
“Please, Alexander. I deserve the truth.”
“It’s not you. It’s how I react to everything about you. It’s the power you have over me.” Olivia’s heart jumped into her throat. He sounded guttural, like the admission was wrung out of him under promise of pain. “I don’t have control over myself with you. I lose all rationality. I don’t know myself, I’m capable of anything, everything. I become the worst of myself and I loathe it.”
It destroyed me to walk away, to let go, to fight the paralyzing hold my love for her had over me.
Olivia shivered at the memory of his words as realization slithered through her, both crushing and freeing, like the roller coaster that took her on a dizzying high at the price of the downward spiral. What she was was what drew Alexander to her and what he felt for her would be what would drag him away.
A pang of something shot through her, leaving her giddy and pained in equal measures. She felt a fist squeezing her chest, a sudden chill grabbing hold of her, and everything blurred for a second. The heartbreaking, breath-robbing, gut-clenching truth was that she was falling for him.
And she didn’t know how to stop it, there was no parachute to slow the descent, only the utterly terrifying truth that it would end with her heart crushed into so many pieces.
There was no happily ever after for her. Because this man who stared at her with incredible desire in his beautiful eyes, who felt something for her but abhorred the fact that he did, he was it for her.
Because no one could hold a candle to Alexander, no one would even come near scratching the surface of what she felt for him today, and despite all his efforts to deny it, to crush everything, no one would understand her, no one would love her better than he did.
Every inch of her trembled and shuddered as he tugged her hand into his. He kissed the sensitive spot on her wrist, his mouth a searing brand. “I can’t get you out of my mind. I want to touch you, I want to kiss you and I want to cover every inch of your skin with mine. And I’ve reached the end of my rope. Tell me to leave, tell me to get the hell out of your life. Because I can’t promise you anything, I can’t give you what you deserve.”
She wanted to move away from him, to hold on to a little sanity. But she couldn’t. If she sent him away, she would never see him again. Because whatever he claimed, he was a man of integrity. He would never speak of this again.
The thought sent waves of nauseating panic prickling over her skin. How could she deny herself the chance to be with him?
Winning the advertising contract for her agency, proving to herself that she was more than her choices, that she could succeed at something, they were all things she had needed. And she had them now. But couldn’t she change the fundamental part of her that felt so much.
She couldn’t let him walk away.
She inched forward and pressed her mouth to the corner of his. Heat blasted inside her, every inch of her seeking, crying for his touch, for his caresses.
His hands moved to her shoulders, but he didn’t press her toward him, or touch her except to anchor her. In fact, after a couple of seconds, she realized he wasn’t even kissing her. He just stilled, his heart racing under her fingers, a shudder coursing through him. And he wouldn’t kiss her unless she asked him now, unless she made a decision.
The scent of him beneath his cologne sent a wave of longing through her.
She pressed her mouth to his, fully this time. His lips were hard and soft at the same time, sending a sweeping roar of longing through her. His powerful body racked as a shudder went through him. “Please don’t go, Alexander.”