“I’m the nanny.” The words were shaky, and she blushed as she glanced briefly at me without maintaining eye contact. “That’s all.”
“Oh.” Mrs. Anderson seemed at a loss for words for a long moment. “I suppose we all just have to be understanding and go at her pace.”
“I thought we were making progress,” said Lindsay. “She’s been more engaged and happier, except today. She was withdrawn when she came home.”
“She’s probably afraid to trust that you’ll be there, Lindsay. Her anxiety makes more sense in the light that you’re an employee. She probably recognizes employees can leave much easier than mothers or stepmoms.”
Lindsay looked stricken, and I reached over to pry one of her hands from the chair almost without thought. Cradling it in mine, I said, “This isn’t your fault, Lindsay. She’s confused and scared to lose you.”
She nodded, but still looked upset. “I feel like I’ve made things worse for her instead of better.”
“No.” I couldn’t let her think that. “In spite of today’s backslide, she’s been much better. There are fewer tantrums and a lot more smiles.”
“She still acts like a little adult though.”
Mrs. Anderson spoke again. “All that both of you can do is continue to encourage her to engage in age-appropriate activities without pushing her. When she’s ready, she’ll let go of the need to control everything and in time, she’ll allow herself to be a child again.”
Lindsay looked doubtful, but nodded.
Shortly after, the meeting was over, and we walked to the limo in silence. Hector waited with the door open, and she slid in first. I followed, sitting on the same seat, but not as close this time. “Let’s get a drink and talk this over.”
Lindsay frowned. “We should probably get home to Elle.”
“An hour more won’t hurt,” I said. “We need a strategy.”
With a little sigh, she nodded. “All right.”
ALMOST TWO HOURS, three drinks, and one phone call from Margot announcing Elle was fast asleep, we headed back to the apartment. We were no closer to figuring out the best way to help Elle, but at least we weren’t awkward now.
Awkwardness became awareness. Lust had kindled from a spark to a raging fire, and I was certain she felt it as intensely as I did. It was a bad idea to indulge in it, but I couldn’t seem to resist adding kindling to the fire as I slid first from the limo before offering her a hand out. She took it, and I kept her hand in mine as we walked toward the building. When she trembled, I asked, “Cold?” If she was like me, she was burning up with desire.
She just shrugged as I led her into the building from the back entrance.
She looked around with a frown. “What are we doing?”
“There’s a party going on in the penthouse, so the front entrance will be packed. I had the driver bring us here instead.”
I took her to the elevator on this side of the building. “This will be faster.” She didn’t pull her hand from mine until we stood in the elevator, and the doors closed behind us. I stood behind her, but off to her side, eyeing her in the mirrored walls. She shouldn’t be so irresistible in the sweater dress and tights, but it was a struggle not to reach out to slide the shoulder down where it hung precariously on her left side.
I couldn’t resist moving behind her. Her shoulders still beckoned, and I lifted my hands. I tried to hold out for another sec
ond, but lost the willpower to do so. I cradled her shoulders in my hands and was almost embarrassed by how much pleasure I took from such a simple touch. I bent my head to hide from my own reflection for a moment and inhaled a lungful of her crisp scent. “Why do you always smell like sunshine?”
She giggled, and it was an anxious sound. “I didn’t know that I did. I’m not even sure what sunshine smells like, Ben.”
“Like citrus and happiness and innocence.” I pressed closer to her, and my cock responded, hardening against her soft body. There was no way she could miss the bulge pressing into her backside.
I pushed back her hair as she trembled, sweeping my lips across her neck before moving my mouth to her ear. “Are you very innocent, Lindsay?” Her only answer was a whimper as I nibbled down the side of her neck, as though I could devour her essence. “Are you?” I asked the question more sternly, refusing to allow her to evade answering. I had to know. I wanted to pretend to myself it was because I’d do the right thing if she was a virgin, but I knew I was lying.
I groaned when she angled her hand to touch my hip. Her hand was so tantalizingly close to my shaft, but still so far away.
“Yes.” Lindsay practically exhaled the word.
I stiffened for a moment as her words confirmed what I had expected. She was too young and inexperienced for what I wanted to do to her. She didn’t know how to guard her heart. I had no right to want to be the one to ruin her, but damned if I didn’t want that more than anything. “Fuck, that makes me hot. I should do the right thing and push you away, and we should both pretend this isn’t happening.”
She whimpered and shifted in my arms.
“That’s what I should do, but unless you tell me that’s what you want, I can’t.” I spun her in my arms, no longer content to look at her through the mirrors on the wall. I needed to see her gaze connect with mine.