The doctor tells me more or less the same story. Mama had a panic attack, and thought that she was having some kind of cardiac event. When she came into the emergency room they told her she wasn’t—but she did have a murmur that got worse when she was in the midst of one of her attacks. Her blood pressure was too high, and there was a concern that she might have a stroke if her distress didn’t cause a heart attack first.
So, they want to keep her for a week for observation of her heart and blood pressure, but also for a psych eval. Why?
Because George admitted that she’d talked about killing herself before.
“They asked me, I told them,” George says. “And you know your Ma. She wants to stay.”
Mama’s asleep at the moment. I checked on her, and then met George to tell him to call me if anything changes. George, though, has another concern. The one that he actually called me for.
“Look, I wanna take care of your Ma, Janie,” he says, using that good-guy voice I’ve only heard when he wants something, “but we can’t afford this. We don’t have this kind of money.”
“Okay,” I say. After all, this isn’t about him, or me—it’s about Mama. I look at Chris and Derek, who’ve come to help out as well. “So, what are you guys pitching in? Are we just gonna split it, or what?”
My brothers share a look, and then drop their eyes.
“We both pitched in a grand,” Derek mutters.
A grand. Each. I look at George. “Which leaves…?”
“About five grand,” George says—apologetically! As if he’s really sorry about this when I know damn good and well that George Acropolis is never sorry about anything.
“She really needs them to keep an eye on her right now,” Chris says. “And you’re better off than any of us. Red Hall’s back open, right? You’ll make that kind of money back in a night.”
I’d very much like to know where he got information like that. He isn’t wrong, but it’s beside the point. These two are constantly going on about all the money they spend on cars and vacations and Armani suits that they have custom tailored. And a thousand bucks is the best they can come up with to “split” an eight-thousand-dollar price tag on their own mother’s hospital stay?
I stare at the door to Mama’s eight-thousand-dollar room. If she does need to be here—if the doctor is right that she’s in some kind of danger—then I’ll never forgive myself for letting her down.
For once, no one is berating me about my involvement. Go figure. Like they think they need to con me out of my money. It wouldn’t make a difference, and I’m not making the decision because they’re being friendly. I’m making it because Mama needs me and I’m the only one she can apparently rely on.
“I’ll handle it,” I say, and feel anger simmer just behind the thin veneer I’m able to maintain when they all smile at me. Derek and Chris take turns patting me on the back, and Geor
ge even comes in for a hug. I endure it, for the sake of peace in a hospital, but don’t hug him back.
“I’ll ah, call you when the bill comes in,” George says.
Yeah, I bet he will.
“This’ll mean a lot to Mom, Janie,” Derek says confidently, as if I need him to reassure me why I’m doing it.
I want to tell them all to go fuck themselves. They’re all more than capable of pitching in to split the bill; they just consider it a waste of money. I know that. I know them. Chris breathes a sigh of relief and then checks his phone quickly. “Well, it’s late,” he says. “I better get going. Long day at work tomorrow.”
Three, two, one…
“Me too,” Derek says. “I’ll swing by tomorrow for a little bit.”
They both leave, and I’m alone with George. He turns to me, his mouth open to give his own excuse.
“I’ll stay with her,” I say, not even bothering to hide my disgust at this point. When it’s just me and George, I feel like we should just be honest with one another. In a way, it’s what family does, right? Even fucked-up families like this one.
“Are you sure?” George asks, feigning concern convincingly well. “I can stay if you need to go.”
Bullshit he can. The minute I’m out of sight, he’d run off and leave her here. “No,” I say. “Go home, George.”
If he meant it, if he really loved Mama, he’d argue with me, or offer to stay with me. We could nap in shifts or something.
But no. Once he’s gotten permission to fuck off, he does so without much of a fight. Naturally.
Once he’s gone, I ask one of the orderlies for an extra blanket and a pillow, if it isn’t too much trouble. She acts like she’s about to suggest I just go home, but whatever I was able to hide from the family I no longer have the will to keep hidden. She leaves to get me the goods, and I go into Mama’s room to wait for her.