“Not in the least.”
“I can relate.”
He nodded. Then changed the subject—probably for both our sakes. “What do you think about a night out? A movie in town?”
I considered his request, still careful not to lead him on in any way. As much time as we spent together at the retreat, I had to continue the we’re just friends stance. But that wasn’t really the issue at present.
“I’m still in that stage where I need to stay close to a bathroom. I breathe wrong and start to spew.”
With a chuckle, he said, “That’s pretty gross, Ari.”
“Tell me about it. I walk slowly. I don’t move my head much. I avoid loud noises, strong scents, and spicy food. And yet I could be ultra-cautious and bam. The stomach revolts.”
One of the chefs had been concocting milkshakes for me to coat my stomach, add some calories. They were as soothing as the tea and helped to keep the queasiness to a moderate level, rather than the roller coaster I’d been on previously.
“At least your color has come back,” Kyle noted. “And you’ve got
a little meat on the bones. Not much, but … better.”
“Taking it one day at a time. But, hey. You don’t have to hang out here with me. Go out with Meg and Sean. Your other friends. Have a life.”
“Yeah, I should get together with the newlyweds. They’ve been calling me anti-social. But there’s been a lot of work to do here at the retreat. My aunt gets so wrapped up in her patients that she doesn’t pay attention to what she calls the ‘trivial.’”
“It’s nice to have you around,” I said. “But don’t feel obligated for my sake. You’ve gone so far above and beyond best friend. I really appreciate everything you’ve done for me.”
“I’m worried about you,” he said, his expression turning serious.
“I’ll survive. Somehow. Rome wasn’t built in a day, right?” I glanced around him and found Chelsea watching us as curiously as I usually studied her. I smiled. “Well, if we’re talking about the Colosseum, Chelsea could probably build the replica in a day.”
He laughed. “Without doubt.” Jumping to his feet, he disappeared for five or ten minutes, then returned.
Kyle placed a sheet of paper on Chelsea’s table and they shared a private grin.
I actually found myself a bit envious. Though I couldn’t explain why, other than missing my own private moments with Dane?
When Kyle returned to the sofa, I asked, “What’d you do?”
“Printed out a photo of the Colosseum.”
“Wow. I really had no idea you were so good with kids.”
He winked and said in a suggestive tone, “I have many, many talents, babe.”
chapter 10
The beginning of February brought with it another beautiful dusting of snow on the plateaus of the canyon. And the reminder of everything I fought to forget for sanity’s sake …
I’d taken to tending the gardens with Kyle and clipping flowers for arrangements I could create for Hannah to paint. February was our pruning season, and since the weather had been mild for most of the winter, we still had gorgeous blooms. But they needed to be cut back, especially with the occasional dip in temperature that led to snow, though it never stuck for more than a day. Mostly just a few fleeting hours.
I channeled the energy not expended with yoga and Pilates into the bouquets. That was in between my still-sometimes debilitating morning sickness.
Dehydration was my current nemesis. I’d suffered three times, thus far, and it wasn’t pretty. Yet despite the complications with my pregnancy, I’d latched on to this baby like a life preserver. I read out loud to it, talked to it, played a variety of music, and generally spent an exorbitant amount of my time rubbing my belly.
I contemplated how many months after the baby was born before I could go back to wedding planning. But bridal consulting left a sour taste in my mouth, following my own devastating nuptial experience. So I considered general event planning for other resorts.
I understood I didn’t have to work—ever. And while I could take advantage of being a full-time mom, I wasn’t sure how I felt about that, either. I weighed the options and even spoke with Chelsea’s mother, Abby, about the fact that she had to work. To my surprise, she confessed that even if she had financial freedom she’d feel worthless in trying to be everything Chelsea needed, because she didn’t possess the required skill set.
That was when I decided two things. I needed a bigger worldview of parenthood, since mine was ridiculously limited. And I wanted to help Abby so that she didn’t have to work two jobs to afford living expenses and Chelsea’s care, especially since the latter seemed to be making an improvement in the child’s life.